Thursday, June 19, 2008

Let's Roll

Brian D. here posting for Spots.

I just got a frantic phone call from Beth, who is boarding a plane at SFO and is in very real fear for her life.

"Oh my God, Brian, I'm about to get on a plane to Kuwait"

"What the hell are you talking about, Bethy? You're going to New York."

"No, my flight is going to Kuwait City, it just stops at JFK."

"Kuwait? You mean that shithole oilpatch we fought a war over?"

"It's like Flight 93. You should see the people in line with me. It's like the full cast from 9/11."

"We're boarding, Brian. I'm scared for my life. Post something on my blog so people can start planning my elaborate funeral. Pick up all the flowers that start piling up at 916A. Tell my fans to not cry for me. Fuck it, they better cry." (Okay, I embellish what she actually said, but you get the point.)

Either Spots will die in a ball of fire as her Kuwait-bound plane is crashed into the BofA Building, or we will be enjoying a hysterical story of her journey across the country with the Kuwaiti royal family*. Check back later to see how this all turns out.

* Tragically, however, Spots is in COACH (!!!!) so she'll only be rubbing elbows with the royal family's servants.


Becky said...

Maybe she can learn how to build a do-yourself-bomb en route!

Anonymous said...

Umm.. wow. How old are you guys?

greg said...

if anyone could handle a situation with extremist fundamentalist Islamic terrorists, it's Spots. We won't be planning a funeral - if any shit goes down we'll be planning the ticker tape parade as she takes 'em out with a bottle of Chardonnay.

Anonymous said...

I normally love reading the posts. I gotta say that this particular one leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Sorry to be a downer.

Anonymous said...

Dude, I love this blog! But why'd you have to go the I'm-Scared-of-Middle-Eastern-People route? Really? Whhhhhy?

Sweet Melissa said...

Great job, Devine! Everyone needs to calm the hell down.

alex said...

I can't believe it!
1. I cant believe your scared of this! We have extensively planned what we would do if that happened. Your prepared!
2. I can't believe you called me at 2:50 am!
3. I can't believe it was to tell me to set my alarm for 7:00 am and for me to call you back when it goes off!
4. I cant believe I did it!

alex said...

OMG anonymous 2:48! I was totally just going to write that!!!! But i decided to go with the, I cant believe thing. But thats spooooky!!!! Really like word for word!!! Its like we share a mind! Ive got the chills!

Brian Leubitz said...

stay classy, anonymous. I liked you a lot better when you were threatening Scientology.

Alex said...

Beth Im shocked!!!! I cant believe you would write something like this!!! Just awful!!! On another note I just read this book by Jonathan Swift called "A Modest Proposal" and he wants to eat babies!!!!! What's the world coming too!?!?!

Be_Devine said...

My God. For all of you anonymous posters who are joining this show already in progress, I refer you to the headline:

"The opinions expressed here are ridiculous and in no way reflect anything of value. Do not take them seriously..."

Which part did you not understand?

The name's lude ... qualude said...

Ride a camel jockey, join the mile high club!
-Kuwait Airways, recipient of the 1993 Mobius Award for creative excellence in cinema/in-flight advertising

Anonymous said...

That's not nice to say :/ I hope upon arrival in Kuwait the true colors of the kuwaiti's showed. I lived their for a few years and the kuwaiti people are nice to be frank