Wednesday, May 14, 2008

dim lightbulb...

Melissa and I went to dinner last night and pretty much pissed off our surrounding tables. Why? Because we came up with an idea we found so hilarious, we were unable to contain our delight. As Melissa threw her head back, she squealed, "Oh shit, I hope this is as funny tomorrow!"
Let's see, shall we?
We want Dan to photograph a 2009 Calendar called "A Year of The Griffwoods." This glossy and useful calendar will feature monthly themed photos of us and helpful holidays, such as "Today is my ex's birthday. Go take a piss."

Here's the breakdown:
Cover: Black and White serious beatnik photo of us smoking cigarettes at a cafe.
January: Beth's Birthday (TBD)
February: Melissa's Birthday (TBD)
March: Us with a leprechaun (diminutive volunteer needed)
April: Pillow fight
May: Us sitting on a couch with our matching laptops
June: Our lesbian wedding (we'd be in tuxedos and the Brians would be our bridesmaids)
July: Sitting on the laps of servicemen waving American flags
August: As Mustard Day falls within August, we will wrestle in a baby pool filled with high end mustard
September: Our memorial to the tragic events of September 11
October: We will dress as each other for Halloween. I'll not eat for a year, wear a business suit and heels, constantly text people, drink Scotch and ignore gentleman callers. Melissa will wear a party dress, flats and a short wig, sip a martini, be caught mid-sentence and have a cell phone from 1956
November: I'm a Pilgrim giving booze and poker chips to Squaw Melissa
December: Us in bed under the mistletoe with Santa, a role we will auction off to support our favorite charity, The Fly Eyes African School for Girls.

In our defense, we plan to print 3 of these and sell them for $0.60. And it took us like, 2 hours of hysterical, scene-causing laughter to come up with this concept.
Hmmm. In the sober light of day, it still tickles me, but I find us wildly obnoxious and rude. I can see why we spend so much time together. No one else would be able to stand us...


Matt said...

I love it! I want all three.

Sweet Melissa said...

You know there is NOTHING I'd rather do than sit at a bar sketching out ideas together, my stomach hurting from laughing so hard!

It's not my fault the other people at Palio didn't find the "booze and poker chips" line as funny as we did. It's damn funny, people. Lighten the eff up!

Mrs. Griffwood

greg said...

from your mouth to God's the era of this is more do-able than you think. You coudl be making 100s, maybe 1000s of bucks!

vansmack said...

I will start the bidding for the role of Santa at $100.

grey cloud said...

not quite the pirelli calendar...but far more entertaining

Generic said...

October. Awesome.

Anonymous said...


Becky said...

When you were using "Oh. Eem. Gee." yesterday, I was slightly disturbed by it, but I let it slide.

But at this very moment...

Oh. Eem. Gee.