Monday, May 12, 2008

alexander peterson anthony spots...

My baby brother finally turned 25 this weekend.
My little Biscy.
My head scratcher.
My pooker pants.
My brother, my best friend, the only person I'd take a bullet for had a birthday.
And last night, the immediate family (sans my mom, who's still having lunch with celebrities in the Village) had drinks at Lazlo and dinner at Maverick.
My brother is a magical creature, much like a unicorn or forrest nymph. He's nice to everyone, he opens doors, he texts brilliant jokes out of the blue. He knows my deepest, darkest secrets, he's drives accross town in the middle of the night when I'm broken hearted, he rubs my back during turbulence and eats the seafood off my airplane salad before I have the chance to gag. My brother makes one hell of a crouton and gives 10 minutes hugs for no reason. My brother is the most peaceful little 6'5" kitten you could ever hope to meet, but the closest I've seen him fight was when a douchebad "disrespected" me in a bar. My brother and I have an odd bond, a bond built from being the only two children in a very weird family. We don't need to speak, we don't need a look, we don't need any formal declaration of sibling committment. My brother is the best guy I know and more important to me than anything I could possibly imagine. My whole death penalty opinion is based on my theory that "The death penalty is wrong, unless someone fucks with Alex."
So, you know, Happy Birthday Biscuit!
Kate and I, over split entrees and our second bottle of Pinot planned our trip to New York and Washington DC together. Kate's moving to DC for her fancy new job and her fancy old boyfried. Jeff heads up a new restaurant and we can eat and sleep fa free in DC. And my mother's still in Ducky's apartment, So we're taking the train up and down the East Coast together, holding hands and playing MadLibs.
I'm very excited and look forward to dipping my toes in that Atlantic cesspool. I was so nice to dive into our shared steak and pasta and plan our adventure, calling Jeff and insisting upon hotel suites and assuring Kate that she won't be lonely so far away.
Anyway, Happy Birthday Lex and I'm right behind ya, Kate.
I had a really good weekend...


Anonymous said...

Beth, you're so beautiful! Especially because you wrote what your wrote about your "little" brother. And Matt and Steve in my office have crushes on you.

steve said...

emma will find her stapler alarmingly empty for the remainder of her employment here.
beth, you're great and matt can't decide between you and melissa whereas i pine only for you. perhaps matt should consider emma.
ha yourself bitch.

Anonymous said...

Steve, your ass is grass when mom gets home.
Matt, sorry but Beth's brother is kinda hot and you get too many phone calls from women crying.
Beth, you can see why I need your blog to distract me at work.

Spots said...

E, S and M, I think you're all fabulous. Thanks so much for reading. And Matt, go with Mel. She's richer, smarter and hotter. Although, I'm funnier and younger.
Hmmmmm. Tough one...

Anonymous said...

Horoscope say: Happy Birthday Alex. You should look for new love opportunities to blossom.

Sweet Melissa said...

Happy Birthday to my lesbonic-brother-in-law, Alex!

Matt - That I am friends with Beth is the only interesting thing about me. I suggest you cut out the middle-woman and pick her. Among other things, she also has way better hair. Smile. Singing voice. And, uh..."chest". Srsly. Awesome.

Anonymous said...

Actually Beth and Melissa together is really what I'm going for. If I have to read one more time that they slept in the same bed, I'm buying a video camera and offering them lots and lots of money.
I love you girls!

Spots said...

Our love cannot be bought, gross commenter.

And Mel brought up my angelic singing voice. Ah yes. She would know. Drive to Napa enough in Rhonda the Honda, who boasts solely FM radio and you get used to it. What's so great about Mel is she doesn't judge my lack of selective music. She embraces it. Even when she saw the CD changer in my drunk.
"You have a CD changer?"
"I spilled coffee on it two years ago."
"Yep. That makes sense."
Which is how we ended up belting the Michael Jackson treasure "Man in the Mirror" through Calistoga.
Because you guys, when you close your heart you close your, YOUR MIND...

H. said...

Seafood salad?

I can't even think of anything witty to say it sounds so horrid...

Sweet Melissa said...

Man. In. Themirror.