It's true! It's true! Glory be! Praise Boston! The greatest "band" of all time has reunited and will be releasing new music and touring!!!
For me to say that I was into New Kids on the Block would be like Gavin saying he was into hair gel. They were MY LIFE. 100% of my energy from 1988-1991 was entirely devoted to NKOTB. It was my defining quality. "Oh Beth? She's obsessed with New Kids."
Every wall in my bedroom was covered in posters of a different New Kid, with Joe, much like the Sistine Chapel, taking over the ceiling so I could gaze into his eyes. It would actually startle my parents' guests who would venture into my shrine to drop off coats and purses at cocktail parties. In 8th grade, I sprained my ankle and decided to cover my ace bandage with a gigantic NKOTB bedroom slipper, made to look like a puffy, neon-colored, high-top. How I thought that hobbling around on crutches with this slipper on my foot, LONG after my ankle had healed would be embraced by 8th grade boys was beyond me. I kept two diaries, one detailing my day to day life (including what I wore every day) and another puffy-painted binder devoted entirely to my daily thoughts to Joe, Jordan, Jon, Donnie and last and least, Danny. I still have it. There was this old Bette Midler song called "Night and Day" which I felt entirely captured Joe and my feelings for each other. I would listen to it and gaze out the window of the limo my parents rented to take me and my friend (singular) to and from the concert. The emotion swirling within my descent into puberty was solely focused on New Kids on the Block.
But of course, high school would not allow my passion to continue. I hid my obsession until it eventually faded away. Then, one day (Sept. 9, 2001) Andy and I were both working at Beach Blanket and decided to run down to the Chinatown Wallgreens to get cigarettes and Evian. As we're about to get in line, Andy grabs my purse with such fervor, I thought I was being robbed.
"Andy! What the fuck?"
"Girl, that's Joey McIntrye."
It took me approximately 4 seconds to process this information.
But then I composed myself enough to approach him after he'd purchased his Alpine Spring Water and introduce myself. Wise woman I was at this time, I kept a disposable camera in my bag and asked for a photo. Which is how I ended up on a sidewalk in Chinatown with the very man who I'd planned, all those years earlier, to spend the rest of my life with as soon as I turned 18.
When we got back to work, Zoe thought I'd been in some type of accident. I had to sit on the ground and breathe into a paper bag. Then I called my mother, who responded by laughing for 10 minutes. Anyway, I just couldn't be more clear that no one on earth love(s)(d) NKOTB more than me. No one.
And now they're back together. They're back together! I heard some idiot say it was the 20th Anniversary of NKOTB, but any Blockhead knows that the New Kids were formed on Father's Day, 1985 when Joe was the last to sign on. Maybe they're celebrating the 20th Anniversary of Hangin' Tough, in which case, okay. But to kick off your weekend and because, really, it's worth a re-visit, check out the following video. Could Jon be less into it? No. The best part is when they did the "Step One!" It never occured to me at the time how fucking gay their dance moves/outfits/hair-do's were. Oh, and by the way, I could do that whole number on the stairs.
Really. I'm dead serious.