Monday, April 21, 2008

i uj you, mang...

Somehow, this reminds me of Melissa, who in a great and dramatic display of friendship, took the ferry to Marin on a Friday night to take care of me in the midst of my miserable cold. Needless to say, we ended up at the 2am Club where I heard the worst pick-up line of all time (I can't bring myself to type it, tho Mel is getting it tattooed somewhere on her person, she loves it so much), prompting us to go home and watch Scarface. Anyway, I would go to a Filipino prison for her, provided I could choreograph.



I bet at the woman's prison, they're forced to dig ditches and make license plates. Someone please send me to Manila with a kilo of blow so I can get Brokedown Palace'd and take over this operation. Also, I wish there were little pop up bubbles telling us what certain prisoners are in for. Like "Rape!", "Murder!", "Putting dog in lumpia!"
Joe just arrived home (at 8:30am, wearing MY Marc Jackass t-shirt because he's "one of those roomates") and was like, "Did you just discover this?"
No. I just needed something to put me in a good Monday mood and figured Filipino prisoners being forced to dance to hits of the 80's might do the trick.
I was right...

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Melissa, we're dying to know the pick-up line. Tell us!

Sweet Melissa said...

Of COURSE I'll tell you the line - I'm not a lady like Bethy.

So, we're in this dive bar (about as dive-y as it gets in Mill Valley) and I was marveling at the Jaeger dispenser and telling Beth how it reminded me of Georgia...

As I was talking to Beth, I could see these two guys at the end of the bar totally checking her out. I guess only one had the nerve to approach and I watched him make his move. (Which was kinda cute.) He introduced himself and sure enough, his dad is friends with Beth's dad. Once that was established, Beth's suitor got right to the point:

"I can't believe I want to fuck Dick Spotswood's daughter."

Anonymous said...

SHUT UP!!! Bethy, why'd you leave?

Anonymous said...

Your male roommate shows up at 8:30am wearing your clothes, a douche in a bar wants to fuck you, you're still getting over a cold and none of this pisses you off?
I love you.

Sweet Melissa said...

Also - Bethy, I couldn't uj you more. If you were the choreographer there would be a lot more Shawn Colvin and Mary J. Blige happening.

I totally thought that WAS the women's prison...

greg said...

the 2am club?? haven't been there in ages...

Spots said...

So I'm going through my notebook (the one Mel got me!) and reviewing my notes for Wednesday's Culture Blog, which I'm writing now. I just discovered my scribbled notes from the 2am Club, as I am not above pulling out my precious T&Co. notebook and detailing glorious quotes. Like this one, from Melissa regarding the Limey that was trying to get in her pants.

"I think my flip flops could pay for your house."

Oh, and then when she was bitching about a drink costing $4.50, I responded, "Well, what are drinks at Le Club?"

"They're free!"

She has a point on both counts...

Spots said...

Oh, AND:

Beth: Don't lie. You love the Deuce.
Melissa: Yeah. It's like Georgia...

L'Italiana said...

Ya mean you were at the Deuce and didn't call us???

Anonymous said...

1. Pretty much all of the 415 wants to party with Spots and Sweet Melissa. How's that happen?
2. Did you see h. brown endorsed Joe Nation? WTF?

greg said...

the flip flop quote is priceless.

Anonymous said...

um, look:

ALL of us kind of want to fuck Dick Spotswood's daughter.

That's half the appeal. Right? Is it just me?

sfmike said...

I want to see a big-budget remake of "Kiss of the Spider Woman" in Tagalog with fabulous production numbers filmed in this very prison with these very prisoners, sort of a mixture of gay South American intellectual sensibility, Bollywood production numbers, and Filipino exuberance.

As a side note, their prisoners sure look a lot happier than their American counterparts. I wonder what that says.

Spots said...

I love you, 9:53. No really. I mean it...

Anonymous said...

How long until Gavin tries that line on you?

Anonymous said...

Beth --

You are beautiful !

no, you're brilliant !

and beautiful !

awesome ...

Anonymous said...

What kind of flip flops were they?

Becky said...

1. Why are they either wearing flip flops of Converse in the prison. Does this seem strange only to me?

2. Beth, that is an AWESOME pick up line. I am disappointed in you for not biting!