Tuesday, April 29, 2008

check out those cuffs...

My family is odd.
To. Say. The. Least.
I learned this the first time I spent time alone with other families. Everyone's weird, don't get me wrong. But we are odd, us Spotswoods.
My brother Alex is home from Ireland, and my mother still in New York. Dad invited us over tonight so he could make some new pasta from one of his cooking magazines and Alex could regale us with his trip to the Emerald Isle.
Over dinner, the three of us got into a heated debate over the Lincoln Assassination conspirators. And when I say heated, I don't mean, "Are you sure about that fact, father?" I mean screaming, yelling, animated hand waving, "I bet you my car I'm right, dilettante!" kind of discussion. The windows in the dining room actually fogged over.
We weren't discussing Abraham Lincoln. We weren't discussing John Wilkes Booth. We were discussing the hotbed of 143 year old controversy surrounding the four conspirators hanged for plotting to kill the President, Vice President and Secretary of State in 1865.
Some families discuss Iraq. Some discuss their day. Some actively recount the weather.
At our house, I was ready to throw a chicken bone at my father for suggesting that Dr. Samuel Mudd was hanged for helping mend Booth's broken leg. We ALL know he was merely sent to prison 70 miles off Key West during the yellow fever epidemic. Come ON! Who ARE you?!?! Are we in bizarro world? Is everyone retarded?
You can imagine our delight (and when I say delight, I'm talking high-fives, hugs, tears) in discovering that 'my name is Mudd' (oh yeah, that's where it comes from) has a website!
Anyway, once on the internet, I pointed out to Alex that I found one of the conspirators kinda, well...hot.
He can't let this go, going so far as announcing to my mother on the phone, "Oh yeah, mom. Beth thinks one of them is cute. Jesus Christ..."
Blame it on my unique ability to apply present day sensibilities to history. Big deal. I'm keeping it real.
So I ask you fine people, is Lewis Paine, the only executed conspirator whose body was not claimed by family (awwww) attractive?
You tell me...

13 comments:

Becky said...

He is hot. I concur.

But I am a nympho going without sex, so lamp posts are starting to look hot...

Anonymous said...

Totally hot. And I had sex yesterday.

Be_Devine said...

His hair rivals Gavin's. If only they had Dippity-Do in his day . . .

And Beth, you're totally right. Y'all are crazy.

Sweet Melissa said...

With that chisled jaw and thick head of hair - I agree that he looks hot in the picture. I wonder about height and teeth issues though.

I love that Spotswoodles debate this!

Lil Sass said...

WHOA!!! He's totally hot. Though...haha, I too am having a dry spell and have been known to grace the hand of the bus driver when he hands me a transfer for too long. SO there's that. The chiseled jaw is H-O-T HOT!

Anonymous said...

Hot.

Anonymous said...

smokin hot killer

jenn said...

hold on, dudes...not so sure anymore:

http://members.aol.com/RVSNorton/Lincoln25.html

scroll down midway through, it's another angle of said killer. i do believe the difference in hotness is due to weight, but man...even back then lighting made all the difference...

Sweet Melissa said...

Jenn - the pic at the top all the way to the right (Paine at 20 or 21) is like an Ab and Fitch catalog pic, though!

Anonymous said...

Lewis at 12 has to be an error -- compare the hairlines?

Anyhoo - I think he's sorta of Toby Maguire-esque

Jen Siebel said...

Who is Abraham Lincoln?

Calitics_Brian said...

He is quite hot, except for this little excerpt from the Wikipedia entry:

"When Lewis was 13, he was violently kicked in the face by the family's donkey, breaking his jaw. The break healed, making his jaw more prominent on the left side of his face."

Good thing that photo only shows one side of his face I guess.

Tress said...

I am in awe of this conversation. As if the post itself wasn't bizarro enough. Holy horny readers...