Friday, March 21, 2008

the man in 23D is a serial killer...

My mother, in her infinite widson and pseudo retirement has decided to spend the Spring in Greenwich Village and sublet Duckie's apartment. I swear on Molly Ringwald, it's true. Dad, wanting to maintain the 34 years of bliss my parents have shared, will be coming back and forth from Mill Valley. He's already discovered a cheese class he wants to take and my mother has found both a yoga studio and seen David Schwimmer.
I know. It must be nice, right?
Alex and I arrived last night at midnight, not expecting the freezing fucking wind greeting us at Kennedy's incredibly long taxi line. I stood there, shivering in my leggings and loafers waiting to die. But then I saw the Chrysler Building in the distance and pulled up to a doorman and walked into this apartment and...holy shit. Joanne is in the most perfect, gorgeous, 2 story apartment one block from the Washington Square arch. It's got the whole shebang: jacuzzi, flat screens, funky art, black-washed hardwood floors, fancy kitchen, fresh flowers. MOM?!?!?!
I was beside myself. I looked out the living room window at 1:30 in the morning and it's Manhattan!
Those that have been reading "I'll Flip You" for some time may know that Joanne has spent the past few years caring for my grandmother spiraling into demetia. To say she deserves these four months living her dream is an understatement.
I've never really been jealous of my mom before but this place is AWESOME. Rock on Joanne.
She's earned this.
So this moring, we got up late and walked up to the Chelsea Market which was very cool and bought things to take home like curry powder and sea salt. I may go back tomorrow for the shallot confit. My father, having already been to the Spotswood version of Mecca, Zabar's, has stocked the fridge with things he regards as "New York." Bagels, lox, salami, stinky cheese, and a giant cheesecake, just sitting there taunting me. He's also found a place to get cheap wine and now has his own butcher.
After lunch at a Spanish joint, I introduced Mom and Alex to Barney's Co-Op, which at first they poo-pooed, but then started trying on Theory. Mom and Alex are both tall and thin, so Theory look fabulous on them and I feel strongly that they should both invest in the pieces they considered. I take after my father. We both look like Rob Reiner and thus look good in Marc Jacobs.
Truth be told, all I bought today was spices, red sunglasses and a new pashmina. As much as I love Marc, I would never pay retail. I wandered "home" by myself, stopping to watch chess in Washington Square and get espresso from Mud.
I will say it here and often.
Everything is better in New York.
Except for weather.
Especially all that food and apparel shit I care about. Today, I saw fresh pasta I'd never seen in Italy and I watched a line outside of Marc as people waited to get their photo taken with a man dressed as a dog in a store window filled floor to ceiling with fake flowers. I pushed my way past a queue of people lining up at Magnolia Bakery to buy $4 cupcakes and I tried on a pair of $590 espadrilles.
Tonight is drinks with the "kids" friends. Dani and Jay are meeting us at a bar before Daddy and Alex head to Young Frankenstein and Mom and I see Passing Strange. The four of us are meeting up for an 11pm dinner at (an in) Hells Kitchen.
I remember, years ago, my mom and I had a late dinner at a sidewalk cafe up by the Lincoln Center and I said, "You love New York like Woody Allen loves New York. You should pack up and move here for awhile."
We had a long, long, mother-daughter talk that night, eating fancy pizza and splitting a bottle of wine, and I was convinced she'd never have the balls to do it.
I was wrong...


Becky said...


Nothing more need be said...

Whitney said...

For the record, Miss Beth, you look NOTHING like Rob Reiner. Rob Reiner wishes he looked remotely like you. You look more like a tall, leggy brunette version of that actress Kristen Johnson (remember her from that show "Third Rock from the Sun?"). Anyway, I digress. I'm just saying, your physical description of yourself couldn't be more inaccurate if you tried. ;-)

Sweet Melissa said...

I miss you!

Glad you are having fun though. I LOVE Zabar's - almost missed a flight once because I couldn't leave.

Anonymous said...

OMG Duckie!!!! It's becoming more clear to me with every post that your life is pretty great.

greg said...

sounds fun!

My first time in NYC when I was living in in Alexandria, VA and I had a great time. I only had 4 days so I decided to go to all the places in NYC I'd seen in movies and it was great.

had a great time. much better than my 2nd time which was during, well, you know.

Spots said...

Thanks Whitney! But, as Alex, Dani and I discussed over brunch, we don't think Rob Reiner WISHES he looked like me. I mean, I really can't imagine Meathead lying awak at night wishing he was 30 year old woman in San Francisco. But you never know...