Friday, March 07, 2008

just put her in the trunk...

My mom used to kick me out of the car when she was pissed at me. Not, you know, miles away or anything. But at the bottom of the hill so I'd have to haul, hysterical crying ass up it.
She did not, however, give me a car wash.
Did you hear about this? A woman was so pissed at her 2 year old, she pressure washed her in an Orlando, Florida car wash.
Oh, Orlando. You're so reassuringly consistent.
I'm just bummed Mom of the Year didn't make the light of her life experience a whole drive-thru wash, complete with immigrant hand wash and those spinning brushes. Then just dry her off in the high-powered air jet section and the little spawn will never have a tantrum, much less a moment of self-esteem again.
This is why I'm not wild about having kids.
My reaction to a spilled sippy cup would be to make them dig graves or volunteer in a psych ward. Christ, my reaction to the phrase "sippy cup" is to vomit a little and hit a co-worker...


Tress said...

I read about this and then made the mistake of mentioning it to the table of mothers I was out with last night - I swear their heads almost started spinning around. AND the poor child is still in her mother's care? What's UP with that?

DJTennessee said...

This had to involve crystal meth use in some capacity.

When I first clicked this, I thought the blonde with plaid shorts was the mom in question. Florida is hilarious.

A Panda said...

Uh, my mom once washed my sister's mout out with soap, how is that any better than getting the ultimate hose-down?

..please don't hit me if I spill my sippy cup..