You know it.
Free mini-bagels, quartered Costco muffins and Lipton hot tea? Oh yes. I'll wake up at 6:45 for this shit. Who wouldn't? I drove up there with the moderator, the talented and gavel wielding Scrappy Spotswood. We'd spent the previous night amidst the ice sculptures at Thursday buffet so I crashed at the folks and helped the old man select his ensemble. You know, my dad should just keep me on retainer because the minute we walked in there, everyone was telling him how great he looked.
One of the guys running the thing came right up and told me I could sit right up front, next to the (old)timers. The timers were two ladies holding a stop watch and signs telling the candidates to shut up.
They could not have taken their jobs more seriously.
Anyway, all 4 hopefuls took the stage: Mark Leno, Joe Alioto Veronese, Joe Nation and Carole Midgen.
Someone introduced someone else who then introduced my Pops with the fabulous, "...needs no introduction" to which someone at my table said, "Yes he does. Who is that?"
He's my dad, bitch. Zip it.
So the debate begins and everyone is hoping for some dicey fireworks like from election night, but I'm sorry to report, I might as well have put my head on the table and taken a nap. Everyone was well behaved.
Highlights include Carole saying she brings "savoir faire" to Marin and JAV saying what makes him different from the other candidates is that he has "not been a part of the problem." Oh, and he wore a bullet proof vest once.
It's at this point that the (old)timers got mad at me for using a flash, so I had to turn it off which meant I missed the best part of the morning.
Carole's cell phone went off. ForEVER. She's frantically digging through her bag to no avail as everyone's thinking, "What retard leaves their phone on in a debate?"
My Mark was fabulous as usual. The Joe's were pretty impressive. Carole was clearly struggling not to come off like the cold-hearted psycho she did last time, where she yelled at the very same moderator who she was now calling "sir."
Finally, Padre asks each candidate if they're for Hillary or Barack and everyone answers. Except Ms. Superdelegate. Interestingly, her district overwhelmingly supported Barack. So, you know, REASON would state that she's represent her peeps and vote accordingly.
However, Superdelegate is already drinking the Hillary juice and thus, has placed a little poll on her website where you can go and tell her who to vote for. In case you forgot to vote on election day. Or want to drive home the fact that uh, Hello? We already did a little poll. It's called Democracy. And it happened on February 5th.
It was pointed out to me that Carole may have done this so that she could have her followers (one of whom was in attendence this morning and would break into spontaneous, solo applause) log on and vote for Hillary, thus giving our Superdelegate an opportunity to say, "Oh, well I ran my own election on my website and I'm sure that's way more accurate than the REAL one."
So District Three, or really anyone on Earth since anyone on Earth can vote in Carole's big, official, Superdelegate poll, I suggest you let this very important voter know how you'd like them to represent you.
Finally, the snoozefest ended and I schmoozed with those that attended my birthday before Dad and I sped away.
In case I didn't accurately portray the bore-factor, our moderator solemnly sighed, "I didn't even get to use my gavel."
Maybe next time...