Tuesday, October 09, 2007

twenty four hours...

Gavin turns 40 tomorrow.
Oh. My. God.
You KNOW he's having a party. How could he not? My boy loves to get down. Even if it's with a Fresca and some cheap tail.
You can look forward to more of my thoughts on Gavin's Birthday in tomorrow's Culture Blog, as well as a rundown of my hot and very public date with Mark Leno, but in preparing said Culture Blog, I e-mailed some cronies and mentioned Gavin Birthday as a future national holiday. The brilliant Barbara responded by asking what dorky little traditions would represent Gavin's annual birthday celebration, like pumpkins on Halloween, belligerence on St. Patrick's Day, etc.
Genius question, Barb.
Well, obviously we need some wacky character, like Santa or the Easter Bunny as the Gavin Day mascot. So I'm voting for a slightly wasted, cocky frat boy named "Trip" or "Trent" who slaps young women on the ass and high fives anyone in a baseball hat.
We won't give each other presents on Gavin Day, because Gavin Newsom is gift enough. But we will sip scotch from coffee mugs and hope no one smells our breath. We'll also wear pinstriped suits and talk like old black men. Oh, and each of us has to go on a really boring, awkward date with someone we find attractive yet annoying.
People will hang cut outs from Men's Vogue over their mantels and stores will stockpile hairgel months in advance, alongside fun-size candy and Christmas lights. Obviously, no one goes to work on Gavin Day, but we all have to spend the day pretending to care about some arbitrary issue, like the planet or hobos.
Finally, we pass out at 2am, wasted and regretful, feeling guilty yet fabulous.
Anyway, 24 hours until the first official Gavin Day. Get ready...
*I love the kid in this photo. I guess he's on Team Daly.


Anonymous said...

OMG! You totally forgot the Blue Tie. What about the BLUE TIE. Everyone and I mean everyone has to have a BLUE TIE this is the quintesseintal along with a iPod playing Keith Urban songs.

Yes..I have six blue ties to tie me up or tie him down......

Sheesh! Don't forget the Plumpjack.

Anonymous said...

Indeed. Balboa shouldn't serve anyone on G-day who isn't wearing a blue tie.

I'll be chain smoking Lucky Strikes all night in hopes of getting my voice gravely enough for the celebrations.

And remember, tomorrow is the one day a year when society forgives if you hook up with your friends' significant others (as long as you are wasted).

Anonymous said...

Oh Gavin Day, oh Gavin Day...no

Deck the halls with...no

Gavin Day, Gavin Day, Gavin all the way...no

Say your prayers little one, don't forget Gavin, to include everyone...yes! That's the ticket.

Let's change the words of Metallica's Enter Sandman to be the official song of Gavin Day. Lars Ulrich will be cool with it.

Anonymous said...

Might I suggest a Trick or Treat type mini bag (recycled paper of course)filled with:
1. Fun size bottles of booze
2. Condoms
3. Phone numbers of local college girls
4. Vanity mirror, comb and Dippity-do
5. Starbucks gift card
6. Book of popular, folksy,
7. Best friends' wife's undies

oh yes I did said...

I'm sure Jennifer has some lame girlie dinner planned followed by routine, mechanical sex. If she really loved him, she'd get him another girl for his 40th.

Anonymous said...



this link! said...


Anonymous said...

Dear Anon 3:31 and this link:

You both are itching for lumps of coal in your Gavin Day Goody bags (see Anon 3:22)...no (I take that back) I think you should both receive "dresses with blazers for a look that is uniquely [fill in the blank]..."

Stop it. It's Gavin Day's eve for Christ sake.

Anonymous said...

What does Jennifer's style have to do with Gavin Day? I read the article anyway and I don't get it. Everyone shops at Ross...and?

Anonymous said...

Because it's rambling, arrogant and hilarious...Happy Gavin Day!

Anonymous said...

Dear Anon 3:54:

Touche...tou 'muthaphkn' che. LOL!

Anonymous said...

You guys are naughty...hilarious but naughty.

Anonymous said...

What would you pay to hear...

Brittanie calls up Kimberly

Kimmers "Hell-o"
Brit "Hi Kimmy, its me Brit."
Kimmers "Hi sweetie, how are you doing? It's been such a long time" (As she struggles to remember which one is Brit?)
Brit "Yeah, it has been a long time. I loved the new look you have for the furniture who knew clothes could be made out of couches"
Kimmers V-8 smack to the head THAT BRIT! She curses and says
"Yup, I am so talented aren't i? So what can I do for ya sweetie" Silently Kim seethes swearing up and down trying to make noise
Brit "Well, you know it is gonna be Gavin's 40th and well you promised last year you would join us"
Kimmers (does another V-8 smack to the head while Ronan looks on and worries about his nose)
"uh yeah, well the thing is Dede Wilsey kaputz that idea"
Brit "Gosh Darn It All, why is Dede poo poo all my great ideas. I wish Gavy and Vanessa would just get over it and make up then we can go back and have fun"
Kimmers does her best not to fall out her chair as she says.
"Brit honey its been great to hear from you but, I gotta go. Love ya." Kim hangs up the phone as Brit replies " (you fill in the blank here) "...