Being awake at this ungodly hour means that I’m drinking tea and reading CNN.com like some kind of institutionalized geriatric waiting for the dining room to open. However, I discovered THIS fabulous article about cruise ship gigolos, a breed that’s always fascinated me.
Gigolos and serial killers. Go figure.
Anyway, I’ve always pictured cruise ship gigolos, older men who get a free ride in exchange for dancing with blue hairs, as anyone who would have played a love interest on Golden Girls. And as I’ve learned in this article, I’m pretty close.
Only I didn’t realize they had to wear crappy tuxedos and nametags. If I’m doing the foxtrot with some cruise ship employee and his nametag, I assure you it’ll be a hot 20 year old Mediterranean dishwasher. Not some 60 year old named Alan with 3 ex-wives and a failed pyramid scheme is Pensacola.
However, it got me thinking. How come there aren’t female cruise ship gigolos? I had no idea thousands of single, older women go on cruises by themselves, actually looking forward to “Alan” and his nametag. Men don’t do this?
Because I could be one hell of a female gigolo.
I think we know I enjoy the occasional cocktail.
Chatting with strangers is quite possibly my greatest skill.
And perhaps you’re unaware, but I know my way beneath a disco ball.
In doing a little cruise research, I’m realized that perhaps my services would best be used on a Gay Cruise, where I KNOW there are a ton of single men who need a drinking hag until they finally muster the courage to steal my dishwasher and lock me out of our cabin…