I have no idea where my Culture Blog is today, but maybe with earthquakes and shit, they have bigger fish to fry than my make believe Halloween Party at Casa Newsom. I'm too hungover to really care, but I'll keep you updated. In the meantime, get a load of these Halloween rules for Tennessee sex offenders:
-Do not answer the door to trick-or-treaters
-No passing out of candy to children
-No holiday decorations on homes
-No visits to haunted houses, corn mazes, hay rides or other seasonal activities
-Do not attend any party where children are gathered
I'm going straight to hell anyway, so I have no problem telling you that I find this hilarious. No hay rides for you, child raper! And what the hell is a corn maze and why is it filled with sex offenders? It never really occurred to me that Halloween is to child molesters as Valentine's Day is to spinsters...