Occasionally, I sneak out of work at lunch and hit SuburbaGym, taking advantage of the abundance of empty cardio machines and free range of the remote controls. When I began on the elliptical, there were two geriatrics reading newspapers and not giving a shit about any of the three TVs up on the wall. So I grabbed the remote for TV3, switched it to Bravo, of course and delighted to find The Godfather just starting, began my workout.
15 minutes into it, all sorts of middle aged men show up and start eyeballing the remotes, prompting me to stare at TV3 like no one's ever stared before. This is my passive aggressive way of saying, "TV3 is mine, Baby Boomer."
At least 4 of them came over and asked if I was watching TV3, annoyed that some of us chose to sweat to award-winning timeless classics as opposed to CNN or ESPN or gardening or whatever they were desperate to watch.
Aren't all men supposed to love the Godfather? Wasn't I doing anyone with a penis a favor by bringing the Corleones to SuburbaGym? Don't they have jobs?
I was put in the awkward position of grunting "No. I'm watching that." constantly, making me seem like some sort of mafia-obsessed, TV3 Nazi.
Which I kind of am...