Because I rock so hard, I spent Saturday night going for a walk by myself and crawling in bed with a salad and a Snapple to watch my favorite show, 'Little People, Big World.' The jist of LPBW is basically that we follow the Roloffs, an Oregon family with a confusing amount of money and dwarf parents of 4 kids, only one of whom is a dwarf. And get this: the dwarf kid's twin is, you know, regular.
That's gotta be rough.
Anyway, as I watched the latest episode, involving the dad paying a bunch of the boys friends $40 to remodel some room in their vast farm/estate/playground, I noticed I was getting one hell of a kick out of the mom. I kept thinking, 'Wait until Amy gets a load of this shit. Boy, Amy'll have none of this. Oh look! Amy's making pizza on a stool.'
And finally, 'I know what's missing in my life. I'm not friends with a dwarf.'
I mean, if you Google "I Hate Being Tall", I'm number 2. I come right after 'Joerg's Website for Tall Women', which I refuse to even visit.
So consider this my personal ad: ISO little person/dwarf for companionship and dinner parties. Will provide stool...