Tuesday, June 12, 2007

sisterhood...

The last thing I wanted to do this morning was move my car.
I spent last night sleeping on Zoe’s couch, awoken by a 5am aurora borealis and a headache that, with the week I’ve been having, is probably a brain tumor.
I dragged myself home only to realize that it was 8:30 and the only parking spaces available were on the Tuesday side of the street. Meaning I’d have to move my car at 9am.
Ass. Balls. Tits.
Obviously, I parked in a soon to be illegal spot, went inside for half and hour and emerged at 8:59 as a meter maid approached Rhonda the Honda.
“Oh, that’s me! I’m moving!”
“It’s street cleaning.”
“Yeah. I know. I. Am. Moving.”
“It’s street cleaning at 9am.”
“Got it. Moving.”
I tried to walk around to the driver’s side door, but she appeared to be writing me a ticket.
“No, no, no, no. You cannot give me a ticket.”
“It’s street cleaning.”
“It’s 8:59!”
“It’s 9:04.”
“Listen to me. I implore you. As a woman. Today. Of all the days in my entire life. Not today.”
I stared at this woman with eyes slowly turning into puddles.
She stared back at me with evil, government worker eyes.
“It’s 9:04.”
“Trust me when I tell you, you will renew my faith in humanity if you find some sisterhood and don’t give me a ticket right now.”
She took a deep breath. She looked me up and down and found me appropriately pathetic. And then she said, “Girl, don’t worry. Just move your car.”
“Thankyouthankyouthankyou.”
“Oh honey. I gotta remember that sisterhood line. That was a good one.”
As evidenced in the timeless classic, Boys on the Side, there is something to be said for the bond between women…

6 comments:

R.G. said...

the "government eyes" description is great. i used to work for the government and my wife always said, "You have policeman's eyes."

Renee said...

This was great! Put a smile on my face. Although the sisterhood line probably will not work in Grass Valley, I will save it for a later date too!

Jerry said...

You ARE Fabulous.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, Sisterhood rocks! that line works with everyone...except Genypher Seebull of course.

Anonymous said...

Beth is a full on sista. JSeib just can't relate. Dumb bitch!

Jeremy said...

What a girl's girl.