Tuesday, June 12, 2007


The last thing I wanted to do this morning was move my car.
I spent last night sleeping on Zoe’s couch, awoken by a 5am aurora borealis and a headache that, with the week I’ve been having, is probably a brain tumor.
I dragged myself home only to realize that it was 8:30 and the only parking spaces available were on the Tuesday side of the street. Meaning I’d have to move my car at 9am.
Ass. Balls. Tits.
Obviously, I parked in a soon to be illegal spot, went inside for half and hour and emerged at 8:59 as a meter maid approached Rhonda the Honda.
“Oh, that’s me! I’m moving!”
“It’s street cleaning.”
“Yeah. I know. I. Am. Moving.”
“It’s street cleaning at 9am.”
“Got it. Moving.”
I tried to walk around to the driver’s side door, but she appeared to be writing me a ticket.
“No, no, no, no. You cannot give me a ticket.”
“It’s street cleaning.”
“It’s 8:59!”
“It’s 9:04.”
“Listen to me. I implore you. As a woman. Today. Of all the days in my entire life. Not today.”
I stared at this woman with eyes slowly turning into puddles.
She stared back at me with evil, government worker eyes.
“It’s 9:04.”
“Trust me when I tell you, you will renew my faith in humanity if you find some sisterhood and don’t give me a ticket right now.”
She took a deep breath. She looked me up and down and found me appropriately pathetic. And then she said, “Girl, don’t worry. Just move your car.”
“Oh honey. I gotta remember that sisterhood line. That was a good one.”
As evidenced in the timeless classic, Boys on the Side, there is something to be said for the bond between women…


R.G. said...

the "government eyes" description is great. i used to work for the government and my wife always said, "You have policeman's eyes."

Renee said...

This was great! Put a smile on my face. Although the sisterhood line probably will not work in Grass Valley, I will save it for a later date too!

Jerry said...

You ARE Fabulous.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, Sisterhood rocks! that line works with everyone...except Genypher Seebull of course.

Anonymous said...

Beth is a full on sista. JSeib just can't relate. Dumb bitch!

Jeremy said...

What a girl's girl.