Friday, June 29, 2007

motown philly back again...

Here I am, back in W. C. Fields punching bag, where I spent 4 muggy and snowy years learning how to be a snappy dresser. We're heading down to Maryland after lunch for the rehearsal dinner/crab feed before tomorrow's big wedding of frequent 'I'll Flip You' commenter, "Molly in NYC."
But more importantly, getting here.
First of all, leave it to my mother to befriend the hottest guy in the airport. While Alex and I were camped out in the bar, Mom bonded with Sean over football, which god bless him, Sean played at Penn. When I finally showed up at our gate, I was like, "Nice work, Joanne."
Prior to taking off, I received a call from my day job boss, who left me a slightly panicked message that Carole Migden's office had called and wanted my cell phone number, which she refused. Apparently, they sounded mad. Our flight had been delayed over an hour, so I was jacked up on Bloody Marys and iced coffee when I called them back.
I guess Carole didn't like Wednesday's Culture Blog.
I would think, if someone has a problem with something someone writes in the Chronicle, they call the Chronicle. Or perhaps, utilize the e-mail link provided.
Mais non.
I'm saving the VAST MAJORITY of my rant for, of course, the next Culture Blog, but needless to say, I had a five hour flight and a notebook.
I landed with 11 pages of shit on Carole.
I was in no mood anyway. We were flying Southwest, which in addition to taking off crazy late and turning the cabin into Lord of the Flies with their unassaigned seat policy, has no in-flight cinema.
Again, forcing me to my notebook, now almost entirely devoted to my distaste for California State Senator, Carole Migden.
When we finally landed, an hour and a half late, the boys were instructed to get the rental car and mom and I (and hot Sean) headed to the baggage claim.
With less than an hour until our much anticipated dinner reservations, we needed to haul ass.
So you can imagine my exhausted, filthy and cranky dismay when the conveyor belt on the baggage thing broke, and we all had to stand around while they tried to fix it.
Which they couldn't.
Decades later, with baggage actually in the trunk of our rented Buick or similar, my father hops on the freeeway and asks, "Where do I go?"
I haven't lived here in 7 years. How the hell do I know?
Eventually, narrowly avoiding both New Jersey AND Delaware, we made it. Alex and I finally passed out after post-dinner drinks at a frat bar and a half-viewing of the geographically appropriate, The Sixth Sense.
I am now up before everyone else, have already been to the FABULOUS fitness center, am about to finish my blogging/e-mailing and am looking forward to some coffee and bakery goodness just around the corner.
I'm going to go mosey around Rittenhouse Square, where it's 80 degrees and raining, so I can pretend I'm in a movie.
Good talk. Good weekend...

PS. Shouts out to Tim at FRB and Mark Leno, whom I now love.


Anonymous said...

Carol Midgen is an Area 51 delegate. What did she denied she ate the sausage off someone else's plate

Beth you have class, Carol doesn't have a freaking clue. Just ask Peter "Bryon" Ragone you have written shit about Gavin's shit for what three plus years and Gavin hasn't called you instead he asks for a background check and since you have similar tastes he puts you on the short list of potentials to take to see Beach Blanket Babylon and Tosca for drinks..uh I meant dinner.

Carol will have her ass handed to her at election time and that alone will be like the face lift of a lifetime for her.

KG said...

Important note you left out... did you find a proper dress for this wedding?

Tim at FRB said...

I never thought I'd get a shout out with Mark Leno in the same sentence i'm honored...

6 degrees of separation ? whats that? I only walked 2 cubicles over, casually asked Mike if he knew you and he spilled his guts... Hopefully he never gets arrested with you for anything.

Maybe now I can have a drink with you all.

greg said...

I can't wait to hear the amazing that this allegedly powerful state senator, this paragon of hard work and virtue, is so threatened by a blog she has to call and harass your coworkers for your private cell phone number.

I bet she'll blame it on the drugs again....

Becky said...

Carol Midgen must be really pissed that she got caught snagging second hand food off of an unknown person's plate. How embarrassing. Ever heard of hoof and mouth disease Carol? Either that or she wants you to do an exclusive...

Anonymous said...

Beth, as Mark Leno's internet director I pledge to you that I will never bother your boss at your day job.

-Bob Brigham

Anonymous said...

Hi - I am one of the many who used to work for Migden - ugh. It was hell & I quit after a few weeks, in the early 90s.

One of my favorite job duties was to go buy Lean Cuisines & put them in her freezer so she would have something to eat when she "stayed" at "her condo" 2-3x a month. As everyone knows, she lives in the East Bay w/ her partner. This is when her official SF address was on Hayes Street.

The WEIRDEST thing was how she "decorated" her condo - she DISPLAYED open shopping bags from boutiques, on shelves and ledges, bags filled with tissue paper to keep them propped open. The nut displayed CHANEL GUCCI FENDI ARMANI YSL VERSACE bags like objects d'art or trophies! It was the tackiest thing I have ever seen. I almost felt sorry for her, a 44 year old (at the time) woman.

Someone should collect these stories on a website, hint, hint.

Anonymous said...

YSL, Fendi and Gucci?? I would have guessed Rockport, Carhartt, and LL Bean.

Jess Drake said...

Carol is a fucking NUT. How in all of God's good glory is she in high office? How is she NOT viewed any differently than some nut on the streets of SF, who is PROBABLY less of a nut than her!

She's just... so crazy! I mean, I am JUST coming to this realization, so please excuse my dubiousness and excitement.

Spots said...

Tim at FRB, I cannot believe you work two cubicles away from my living companion. I have never felt more famous in my life. How did you not figure this out sooner?
Bob, I want to do cocktails with Mark. Make it happen.
And Anonymous Carole employee, that is awesome, fabulous and wonderful. Thank you...