Monday, June 11, 2007

the big house...

Paris Hilton should have been arrested for saving Gavin’s number in her Blackberry under "Newson" so I don’t really see what the big deal is about the fuzz finally getting around to imprisoning her for being stupid.
Like everyone one else on earth, I too am over the ‘PH in the slammer’ coverage, which is why, whenever I read about it (approx. every 12.7 seconds) I just pretend they’re talking about Swiss Miss. Suddenly, I could not be more fascinated with her being dragged from a courtroom and surviving on Cheerios.
Swiss Miss + jail = heaven.
(I’m not going to go for the obvious golf cart joke here because I’m still worried about the karmic repercussions, but feel free to blow it up in the comments.)
So, little tip from me to you, pretend all this shit going down with Paris is really happening to the (other) most annoying person on earth and it’ll be easier to take...

10 comments:

Vindictive said...

I really hope Paris would just go away forever. The fact is she was busted for DUI, couldnt do the alcohol treatment program (i spose she was too busy wrecking her Bentley) signed a document knowing her license was suspended, got busted for violating probation. Shes not in jail for DUI or suspended licsense, shes in the clink for VIOLATING PROBATION. If this was you, me or anybody else, we'd get 90 days. Hopefully she will have to toss some 400 lb bulldog's salad and the illicit video will get posted to TMZ.

I TiVo'd The Office and saw your pal's commercial.. GCN should watch that commercial real close to see what hes going to end with in 40 years. Doesnt make me want to buy a Mazda any more tho.

Brett said...

Isn't saying you aren't going for the golf cart joke the same as making the golf cart joke?

Not that I'm complaining, since you know I'd have made the golf cart joke with nary a wisp of concern.

Steve said...

My theory why these folks are F'd up... such as, Paris Hilton and the sleaze-balls on Jerry Springer ? Their parents did not take them to National Parks when they were children and they never had newspaper routes.

has bad karma said...

I'm with you sister. I've been sick of this Paris coverage, but now with your brilliant suggestion, it's suddenly fun. Hopefully Swiss Miss will be caught with some illegal appetite suppressant drug while operating a golf cart and be locked up. I can't believe Gavin is still hitting that. I had a flash of their trip to Hawaii and envisioned that awful shot of her running on the beach from her ridiculous website. Gross. Do you think she watches all of George Clooney's interviews hoping that he will mention her? I do. It's so sad that she still brings up their one nighter for press. Clooney bangs four broads before lunch on a bad day. Lock her up!!!!

Anonymous said...

I noticed that Swiss Miss added the Marin Independent article and the infamous Chronicle piece under her lame website press section. I guess she is desperate to have anything that was published since 2005. Is it too late for Ruby to file a defamation of character suit? That might land her in the clink.

vomit said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-io6i5jnFTY

Anonymous said...

Beth, I saw you at Bungalow 44 on Saturday night! I was going to come up and introduce myself but I was 1) nervous. You are indeed noticably attractive and 2) you seemed in deep conversation with someone who I assume is your mom. It's my first celebrity sighting in Mill Valley. Next time, I'll summon the nerve to say hello.

elisabeth said...

Beth, have you looked closely at Gavin's top 4? Check out the profile pic for complicated maze. I wonder why she's in his top 4? Hmmm...

Anonymous said...

Beth's photo is too cute. I had that haircut as well. Complicated Maze has sand in her cooch anyway. Dime a dozen blonde. Beth's got smarts and great juggs!!

elisabeth said...

I couldn't agree with you more!