Wednesday, April 25, 2007

this is why she's my bff...

One evening in college, when I was unfortunately absent, my friends sat around and tried to think of one word to describe each of us. One person was caring and another was motherly. Someone else was driven and a fourth was friendly.
You know what I was?
Complex.
Obviously, I wasn’t there to defend my one word with an intricate diatribe and emotional speech on how my one word should be fabulous or cosmopolitan.
I’ve always been a little pissed about that complex thing.
Well, I’ve finally come to the realization that “complex” is a hell of a lot better than “nice” which is how Swiss Miss was recently described by her fellow cast member, someone my BFF knows well.
Beth: So tell me everything! What did he say about her? Did he talk to her? Are they friends? What’s she like? Start at the beginning. Oh my god, I can’t wait!
Zoe: He definitely spoke with her and his initial report is that she was nice.
Beth: Nice?
Zoe: Yes. She’s apparently very nice and sweet.
Beth: 'Nice.' Jesus Christ. Who the hell wants to hang out with nice?
Zoe: Apparently Gavin.
Beth: Are you kidding me? I can’t think of anything worse.
Zoe: I know. Nice means boring.
Beth: Exactly. Ugh, nice. I can’t get over it.
Zoe: It’s the worst word in the world.
Beth: Not interesting, not funny, not smart, not bitchy, not obnoxious, not effervescent.
Zoe: And certainly not complex…

9 comments:

not nice said...

Ick, please. She is not "nice" or "sweet". She's totally fake and bitchy. I wonder if Celine Balitran thinks she's nice? She showed everyone her true colors last month. She's just like every girl I went to prep school with. She thinks she is special because she grew up in a nice area and had everything she needed. She's just another failed actress who happens to be bankrolled by Daddy. If she weren't wealthy, she would be waiting tables at an L.A. restaurant instead of trying to make "films" that nobody cares about. She isn't any different than the other desperate actresses because she is rich. As far as her constantly being referred to as, "actress/environmentalist/humanitarian/producer Jen Siebel". The media should get is straight and start calling her "extra/dillitante/rich girl/wannabe" Jen. What does she do all day besided get botox and screw the mayor? I guess Gavin likes her because she's always around and thinks he's the most. Kimberly was always gone, so I guess he needs somebody that has nothing else to do. He's using her to look respectable and suck up to the Wilsey clan. She will be gone after the election. Her black roots are awful. I'm sure the carpet ain't matching the drapes. You know she's a bore in bed too.

Anonymous said...

Guys aren't always a reliable judge of what chicks are like. You know she's the type of "girl" who puts on the innocent sweetheart act for the guys and is a secret bitch on the inside. Jen is awful, awful, awful. Gavin needs a freak in bed and you know she's too uptight to give him what he needs. I'm sure he's still getting his on the side.

Anonymous said...

Not Nice, you are obsessed with what Swiss Miss is like in bed.
I'm just saying.
Beth's blog is like your venting forum about how much you hate her. Maybe you could start your own blog and discuss your feelings there? I come here to read Beth. Not you.
Shut up.

Sorry Spots, I had to.

That Chick said...

I am only here because I still can't log on to SFGate to post witty humorous support for your amazing writings whether you write about trees, booze, great outfits, booze, great parties with booze or even Gavin. Beth is the best, plain and simple or complicated or a superhero I don't fucking care. Beth should get paid to do this.

As far as swizzle stick is concerned, I learned a long time ago when someone calls you "nice" they really are calling you mentally retarded so swizzle stick really is nice.

not nice said...

Then don't read my comments anon 11:46
You aren't in charge of what people should or should not say.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, but Beth is in charge. And I bet she wants you to shut up too.

sfmike said...

Girls, girls, stop bickering, it's not attractive.

And Beth, I thought you had dumped Zoe as your BFF for Dan Noyes. I'm confused.

Anonymous said...

It's supposed to be a joke people!
lighten up and get a sense of humor.

King Conchobar said...

Beth decided Dan Noyes is no longer BFF material after seeing one of his lost tapes.