Monday, April 09, 2007

ski hard? ugh...

Oh god. It’s Monday. I haven’t done my taxes. I owe the DMV my firstborn. Mikey called me Phyllis.
And then there’s THIS.
Swiss Miss gave a disturbing interview to my hometown rag and I would be remiss if I didn’t respond. I refuse to comment on the obvious revelation because I don’t want to burn in hell for all of eternity, but needless to say, the last thing I needed today, other than to be called Phyllis, was to hear Swiss Miss described as “strikingly slim.”
She goes on and on about she’s never felt good enough, all she does is please her family, tears, sobbing, crying, etc.
Jesus Christ.
If Gavin wants an emotional wreck, I blow this nut out of the water.
And uh, I’m certainly a class-free, media-whore idiot, so who am I to offer advice, but the last thing Swiss Miss should be doing, for like, the next decade of her life, is giving another goddamn interview about her relationship with Gavin Newsom.
Swiss Miss also mentions, during a break from the crying apparently, how she wanted to be a third-world doctor, but changed her mind because she hates blood and it seemed like a bummer job.
So she became an actress.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm finally sick of her.
I could go on and on and on about the bizarre, appalling and hilarious content of this interview. But it’s Monday. I need to do my taxes. I’m about to be arrested by the DPT. And my celebrity equivalent is apparently Phyllis…

22 comments:

sfmike said...

Since I already know I'm burning in hell for all eternity, let me ask the question that pops out after reading that interview. Did she really kill her own 8-year-old sister with a golf cart when she was six years old? Yikes.

As for her career conversion from Third World doctor to Hollywood actress, that may have been one of the most unintentionally bizarre things I've ever read.

Good luck with the IRS and the DPT. At least you haven't murdered anyone yet.

Spots said...

Marry me...

Anonymous said...

Her sister died in a golf cart accident? My sister got run over by a bus in Kansas before I was born but, I don't blame myself for it. It is amazing my sister survived and that I, myself, survived getting hit by a neighbor driving his car in 2005 so, I am beside myself that someone died in by a golf cart. I am probably going to hell, but that's part of my plan ...where else can you open up a hot dog stand?

golf cart...jeez I can't get my head aroud that...

i'm awful said...

Ski hard? So annoying...I'm surprised she didn't work in an apres ski somewhere. Sorry, but she still bugs me. I'm sorry she lost her sister, but she still lacks manners and compassion if she lashed out so easily at Ruby and took those repeated cheap and judgmental shots. She is 32, not 19 and naivety is a bit of a stretch for somebody that long in the tooth. Why is she giving these inane interviews except to promote her career as an extra and herald the fact that she's dating a public figure? It's backpeddling and damage control to improve her image, noting more.
Gotta run or I'll miss the 12:30 express to Hades.

Anonymous said...

She's got so many issues she needs her subscription canceled..

yeah whats up with the golf cart thing ... weird.

GCN could do so much better than Clooney's sloppy senconds..

+1 on what Awful said about manners re: her age.
T

Anonymous said...

Spots, the only thing you and Phyllis have in common are your glasses. Swiss Miss is too thin. It should have been described as panifully thin. She would look much better if she put on some weight. Her breast bone is always visible. Not attractive. Most men like women with feminine bodies, not a boomstick with nipples. Besides, your rack puts hers to shame any day of the week.

Anonymous said...

Is she referencing that horrible "Ski Hard" movie? Personally, I only ski naked, but that's a different film. Can she go for one interview without mentioning the Clooney hookup? Jesus.

i'm horrible said...

One more thing...she is still referring to herself as a "girl" in all of these interviews. Isn't she a bit aged to be in the girl category? I'm just not buying the innocent little girl who means well routine. This broad has been press hungry from go.
I think I can still catch the 5:15 to Eternal Damnation. All aboard!

Anonymous said...

Beth, it must have been hard to read this:

"...He makes me happy. He inspires me. He's a visionary. He makes me laugh."

That Chick said...

Beth, if you need something to cheer you up just read this line over and over

"I grew up living in a beautiful, magical bubble" -Jennifer Siebel

I had to check where the town of Ross was and if one needed a rocket ship to get there.

I did go to the Ross town website to ensure the Town Manager didn't have a tail or was a unicorn.

WTF is Gavin doing with this woman???? She was in a FREAKING BUBBLE!!!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Beth grew up 2 bubbles over. Interesting that 2 "girls" from the expensive side of the tracks turned out so differently...

Che said...

"Expressive eyes?" She practically has the same expression in all her pictures.

Anonymous said...

"...He makes me happy. He inspires me. He's a visionary. He makes me laugh."

I am so jealous.

Anonymous said...

I think Gavin makes a lot of women happy if you know what I mean....
Anyone willing to wager when this fruitcake gets dumped for somebody younger and hotter??

Anonymous said...

Such an embarassment.

Anonymous said...

Beth reminds me of Giniffer Goodwin from Big Love with better boobs. I'd kill for your jugs Spots! You look like a Varga girl.

greg said...

who knew a "magical bubble" included helping kill your sister?

Save the Bumblebee, Save the World. Buy a shirt!

Or maybe we need to make up some "Team Spots" shirts for the store.....

rock on Beth!

mollybnyc said...

I noticed that she's still clinging to the stories and the glory of her high school/college athletic career. Ummm she's 32! Just another reason she's so pathetic. Cue Springsteen's "Glory Days!"

Anonymous said...

Puh-leeze...I'm so sick of her. How much longer do we think this one will last?

King Conchobar said...

I'll settle this -- You're ALL going to hell

Anonymous said...

See ya there!

Anonymous said...

She's the "token white chick" in a movie? TOKEN WHITE CHICK?! Um, is there a bizarro Hollywood I know nothing about? When did caucasian females start having it tough making it show biz?