Tuesday, April 10, 2007

mine must have been lost in the mail...

I was checking out CBig’s Sunday column in the Chronicle when I was thrown by information so fabulous, I nearly knocked over my Frappuchino.
According to Catherine, Willie Brown bought his girlfriend a Jaguar for her birthday. The car, not the animal. Obviously, this begs the question: What does Gavin get his bitches for their birthdays?
The Mayor’s such a class act, that he probably sends birthday presents to all of his ex-hos, so here are my guesses:

Kimberly Golddigger: Space Food
Sofia Milos: ESL classes
Erin Brodie: The Complete Works of Emily Post
Brittanie Mountz: floaties
Ruby Tourk: smelling salts
Swiss Miss: Who cares. All I have to say is that it better not be a fucking ring…

*Obviously, as a means on contacting me, Gavin's people have actually picked someone I know as their "hero." So CONGRATS Cliff! That rocks. Please feel free to bring Gavin to the Spotswood Summer Party. He can be at my table...

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Does it bother you at all that SFist Elaine CONSTANTLY rips you off? Not that she's ever clever or funny, but she copies you. All. The. Time.

Anonymous said...

Do you really know Gavin's hero? OMG. Hook it up!

Anonymous said...

I have a bad feeling that we are stuck with Swiss Miss. If he didn't bounce her after last month's fiasco, I guess she is here to stay, much to our chagrin.
I guess he likes delusional crazies with boy bodies who work as extras. Perhaps he is using her to meet hot chicks in Hollywood? We can still hope for some on the side action, though, right???

lo said...

yay for cliff!

Anonymous said...

No, no, no. Swiss Miss cannot be here to stay! Say it ain't so...

Anonymous said...

I thought since Gavin was off the sauce that sober sex between him and Swiss Miss had become routine. What gives? Has anyone watched her reel on that silly website? There is a hilarious clip from her movie where she is in bed with Kip Pardue. Her voice is so annoying. Her "Oh's.." have a phony British affectation to them. Yes, she's even annoying in the sack.

Anonymous said...

Do you have a link?

Anonymous said...

It's
jennifersiebel.com

Sorry Spots. I know you are sick of her. One thousand pardons!

Anonymous said...

Don't you already have a Jaguar? I saw one in your hood with 'Spotswood' vanity plates. I'd been waiting to say something. That's gotta be you.

brendan said...

That's Spots'(former mayor)Dad, anonymous.

Remember, Beth is just one bubble over from Jennifer.

So funny that it could have been the other way around had Gavin good taste in women and Jennifer a biting sense of humor.

Anonymous said...

A biting sense of humor requires intelligence, so Jen's never going to be accused of being funny. I'm hoping Miss crackpot keeps flapping her gums and flipping her wig in the press. She just can't help herself. That's entertainment!

Anonymous said...

It's too bad your old man didn't get to interview Swiss Miss. That would have been a real article.