Monday, March 05, 2007

oh, and my 'at bat' song is brickhouse...

With nothing to do on a Saturday night, I did what people apparently did all the time 30 years ago.
I watched Saturday Night Live.
One of my lifelong ridiculous dreams is to be an SNL writer circa 1977. While most likely impossible, I have this fabulous image of myself in cuffed jeans and a corduroy blazer with elbow patches, sitting in an NBC hallway at 3am, taking qualudes and flirting with Bill Murray while simultaneously creating moments of timeless comedic genius.
I also want my own little opening intro thing.
You know the opening intro thing, right?
Each cast member gets their own opening intro thing, where they’re surprised yet delighted by the camera in some type of hot, Manhattan night spot.
It’s always the same.
They’re either sipping a cocktail.
Telling a joke.
Or emerging from a cab.
Then suddenly, oh my god, it’s my wacky friend with the camera.
So I had to ask myself. Which one am I?
Am I sipping a martini alone in a crowded bar?
Am I surrounded by adoring friends, about to deliver the punch line when, “Oh, the camera! Ha!” and then back to my joke?
Or, am I emerging in something vintage and beaded from an old-timey cab?
One’s SNL opening intro thing like your “at bat” song. It speaks volumes.
SNL is famous for it’s sexism and I noticed that exclusively men cast members get the “telling a joke” intro thing, and the women are all silently looking pretty at a bar or daintily coming out of a cab.
Screw that shit.
I can totally pretend to be telling a joke and suddenly turn and wink at the camera. I’m busting through the SNL opening intro thing glass ceiling and going with option number two.
Although, I still want to be wearing something vintage and beaded…

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

SNL hasnt been pee your pants funny in 25-30 years, the 1st gen cast when they were on dope. Was mildly amusing in the early 80's with Eddie Murphy then sucked till teh late 80-90s with Mike Myeres Phil hartman et al. mid late 90s was ok with Sandler, Farley, Rock & Farrel. Hasnt been even amusing in 5+ years. I catch it occasionaly on Saturdays and the funniest thing is the 'Fun with real audio' animation.

Spots, your way funnier than Tina Fay. You should have been the new head writer WU anchor.

T

Blanche DeVereaux said...

I agree with T above on both points. Tina Fey needs to get over herself. She is just plain mean.

Anonymous said...

and that scar... looks like she was slashed at the ATM