I have a hot date with Gavin tonight and I totally can’t figure out what to wear. The last time we went out, I was all casual in jeans and a black turtleneck, because Eve told me to look like I just rolled out of bed and was only there to discuss hobos and litter or whatever. And since I spent that morning feeling like a big, rain covered lesbian, I really want to step it up sartorially for tonight’s rendezvous. In planning my ensemble, I thought it best to review all of the outfits Gavin has seen me in and come up with something new and exciting for tonight.
First meeting: turquoise blazer and black pants at my dad’s lunch group. I know, I know. Gross.
Meeting two: Slutty boobs all up in my face and high heels, this time in breathless anticipation of Gavin’s appearance at said lunch group. (Interestingly, guests are no longer allowed when Gavin comes to lunch. Coincidence? Probably not.)
Meeting three: Frilly, twirly black skirt and cardigan. This was the time Gavin totally caressed the entire back portion of my body while laughing at my jokes in the back room of Tosca. So, this was obviously a good Gavin outfit. I wore it to dinner this Saturday, but I didn’t spill that much shit on it, so we may be good. It’s a little dressy for policy talk in the ghetto, but I’m a classy kind of broad.
And finally, the whole jeans, black sweater, bed head, rain-soaked look of February 10th.
So just to recap, we went from loser to slut to frilly to lesbian.
And you know Swiss Miss is going to show tonight, trying to upstage me in her stupid checkered monstrosities and visible ribcage. Which reminds me, I should probably wear something that provides ease of mobility in case I need to throw down.
Right now, as its pouring rain, I’m thinking jeans, a white dress shirt and my trench coat, although whenever I wear it, Gray Cloud calls me McGruff the Crime Dog, so clearly, I’m open to suggestions…