As I sucked down coffee while drying my hair this morning, my cell phone glowed with a text.
“From Mikey: Gavins on KFOG.”
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!
As I believe radio is a dying medium and only listen in my car, I once again raced around the house in desperate search of this highly unnecessary contraption. Why anyone would have a working radio in their home is beyond me, but at this moment, I was desperate for some FM action.
Unable to hook myself up, I tossed my hair in ponytail and raced out the door, looking like a lesbian. Those that know me know I won’t run for my life, but let me tell you, I booked it to my car. I couldn’t get my key in the ignition fast enough, desperate to hear that familiar gravelly voice discussing adultery, hangovers and rehab.
“…And we’re back with San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom.”
People could even call in and ask questions. Any questions! The anticipation was killing me, I was so sure he’d start crying or apologizing or revealing intimate details about his personal life.
Oh, oh, oh! I hope someone asks about Han Sup Shin!
But question after Foghead question dealt exclusively with boring, crappy things no one cares about.
Hobos? Big deal.
Filthy piers? What else is new.
Market Street is a shithole? Duh.
Come ON, people. Let’s get to the good stuff.
But no. Sober Gavin is a boring Gavin, and makes everyone stand around asking boring policy questions and ignoring the big, drunk, adulterous elephant in the room.
To quote Eve, Gavin is now officially Fun Bobby…