Monday, February 05, 2007

who the hell are these people, anyway...

The Nob Hill Gazette is a piece of shit.
I didn’t want to be on their stupid list anyway.
First of all, I know for a fact that I’m way cooler than pretty much every bitch on that list, except for CBig, whom we love because she came to my birthday. Second of all, what is the point of them CALLING MY OFFICE and asking all kinds of stupid questions about me if they were just planning on toying with my incredibly fragile emotions and screwing me over?
Seriously.
As I was lamenting my crappy life to Lo the other day, she reminded me, “Relax. The Nob Hill Gazette is coming out any day. And you’re in it!”
Oh. She’s right, I told myself. After all, I made her call them back and pretend to be my secretary in a move deemed to be “sick” and “just sad” by some, but to me, a profound and touching act of sisterhood. You’d think Lo would know, considering she gave them my bullshit bio and made me appear hilarious, philanthropic and difficult to get a hold of. And after ALL that, you’d think they’d have the sense to include my sorry ass in their crappy newspaper/magazine/loser neighborhood newsletter.
Mais non.
Whatever. As I’ve said before, the Nob Hill Gazette is basically read by posers that get off on being rude to waitstaff. And you can tell them I said so.
Or Lo can, when I make her call them back and yell at them…

4 comments:

That Chick said...

Gosh Darn It!!!
I totally voted for you Spots and told all my friends to vote for you too! WTF? is with that list as there is like six people I know that are married or getting married on it???

Maybe it's like one of those awards where you have to pay a fee (like you buy sixty subscriptions of the Gazette) to get on it..

Totally a bummer!!! Well, you should be on the list or aim higher like getting on SFist Totally Eligible Hotties list* (I don't know if there is such a list but, I will put in the suggestion)

Sam said...

maybe you can join Gavin in rehab instead. I am sure it will be much more interesting than the pages of the Tender Nob Gazette.

sfmike said...

That's a scary list and even scarier descriptions. Here are two picked at random:

Vaughn de Guigné; pretty, vivacious, & concerned about schools

Gail De Martini; avid golfer, skier, SCUBA-certified, ballet-goer; models for charity

That's what you need to do, Spots. Start modeling for charity and be publicly "concerned" about schools. Then they'll love you.

Incidentally, there was a strange, lost-looking, middle-aged Mexican woman wandering around Hayes Street this afternoon with a freshly published pile of "Nob Hill Gazette" magazines in her arms. She had probably been instructed to place copies in "upscale" retail locations, but you could tell the poor woman was deeply confused. Just like her employers.

NewChris said...

Doesn't Don Linker live in Marin? The Nob is a bunch of frauds.