The Nob Hill Gazette is a piece of shit.
I didn’t want to be on their stupid list anyway.
First of all, I know for a fact that I’m way cooler than pretty much every bitch on that list, except for CBig, whom we love because she came to my birthday. Second of all, what is the point of them CALLING MY OFFICE and asking all kinds of stupid questions about me if they were just planning on toying with my incredibly fragile emotions and screwing me over?
As I was lamenting my crappy life to Lo the other day, she reminded me, “Relax. The Nob Hill Gazette is coming out any day. And you’re in it!”
Oh. She’s right, I told myself. After all, I made her call them back and pretend to be my secretary in a move deemed to be “sick” and “just sad” by some, but to me, a profound and touching act of sisterhood. You’d think Lo would know, considering she gave them my bullshit bio and made me appear hilarious, philanthropic and difficult to get a hold of. And after ALL that, you’d think they’d have the sense to include my sorry ass in their crappy newspaper/magazine/loser neighborhood newsletter.
Whatever. As I’ve said before, the Nob Hill Gazette is basically read by posers that get off on being rude to waitstaff. And you can tell them I said so.
Or Lo can, when I make her call them back and yell at them…