Because my life is wildly glamorous, I totally partied with Ed Begley Jr. on Thursday night.
My folks have these fabulous friends, Richard and Barbara, who are basically supermodel, jet-setting diplomats and amazingly enough, they e-mailed me last week saying they had 2 extra seats to some big fancy dinner at the Fairmont.
Oh hell yes.
So I talked Mikey into skipping class, promising him a night of free food and an open bar if he’d be charming and pretty for a few hours. We arrive at the hotel, check in and are delighted to find our names actually on the list. We then find Richard and Barbara and scope out the amazing silent auction. Mikey and I were just wandering around, drinks in hand, when Mikey and I suddenly look up and at the same time say, “Is that Ed Begley Jr?”
Oh my god, it totally was.
You’d have thought it was Clooney, we were so star-struck.
Ed was kind of wandering around, saying hi to a few people but otherwise, not nearly as mobbed as you’d expect for someone who starred in She Devil. Soon he ended up standing alone RIGHT NEXT TO US, who obviously stood at the bar.
“Oh my god, what do we do?”
“I don’t know but I can not die without meeting Ed Begley Jr.”
Conveniently, our hosts are hardcore movers and shakers, marching right over to Ed and asking him about the sneakers he was wearing.
Yeah, Ed Begley Jr. is so big he wears (old) sneakers to the Fairmont.
After a myriad of flashes from some society photographer captured this moment, Richard and Barbara announce, “Ed, there’s someone you have to meet!”
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
I bet they mean me!
So here I am, being introduced to Ed. Begley Jr., Richard referring to me as appallingly funny “and the next Oprah Winfrey!” and I can’t think of anything funny or Oprah-esque to say. I just stood there, staring at him, waiting for him to do lines from Best in Show or desperate to ask how his speech impediment has affected his career.
Seriously, I’ve always maintained that you can stick me in some heels, throw a drink in my hand and shove me into cocktail conversation ANYWHWERE and I will rock. But my one weakness, my kryptonite as it were, is basically anyone with a SAG card. I’m the biggest celeb-whore in the world, and I’d pretty much be speechless meeting Extra # 4 from Monk (totally happened).
The only time I was able to push past this bizarre inability to be cool was when I partied with Gavin Booze-som, because that drunk fell madly in love with me AND my jokes.
Needless to say, Ed Begley Jr. did not fall in love with me.
Maybe it’s because I don’t recycle.
Anyway, soon it was time for dinner and marvelously, our table rocked. Most of them even joined us for drinks afterwards at the Big Four. It was a fabulous, glamorous evening and I loved every second.
Well, every second except for the second where I failed in my quest to become close, personal friends with Ed. Begley Jr…