Thursday, February 01, 2007

has he even had a chance to unpack...

My fingers are typing so fast my keyboard is beginning to smoke.
Let’s start at the beginning, because I think we all need to get a handle on this situation.
I was minding my own business last night when I noticed that I’d missed a call from Eve. Her voicemail said something along the lines of, “I just wanted to check and make sure that you’re okay.”
If it were anyone else, I’d have called right back asking what the fuck was up.
But this was Eve.
So I ran to the computer and pulled up SFGate.
“Aide Quits as Newsom’s Affair with his Wife is Revealed.”
No, Eve. I am not okay.
Apparently, Gavin was screwing around with his campaign manager’s wife, who subsequently went into rehab and, in accordance with Step Number 9, “made amends” and told her husband of the affair.
With his boss.
Her husband, the apparently highly loyal and hardworking Alex Tourk who pretty much walks around saving hobos and making Gavin look good, waited until Gavin returned from Switzerland, stormed into his office and called him on his shit.
Flies on that wall, I am so jealous.
The worst part of this whole mess? Her name is Ruby Rippey-Tourk.
WTF?
Here’s the thing; I’ve always liked the fact that Gavin was weirdly loyal, maintaining some kind of old school, frat boy code of bros before hos.
Unless they have coke-head robotic wives with stupid names who look exactly like every chick in the Marina circa 1997.
And what's Swiss Miss have to say about all this? Ugh, I'm no fan but that's got to suck, returning from some whirlwind Swiss vacation with your hunky boyfriend to find out that he was involved in an adulterous affair with his campaign manager's cracked out spouse - as he launches his reelction campaign.
Needless to say, Gavin's foes are all weighing in on this one, including Tony Hall, who's apparently now runnning against him because San Francisco "deserves better."
Wait. Tony Hall? As in Tony Hall and the Hallmarks, the band from the Olympic Club Dinner Dances?
Nice. I love them.
That's what San Francisco deserves. One hell of a bunny hop.
I know what you're asking yourself.
"Spots, how will you go on? What does this mean for you and Gavin?"
Call me Tammy Wynette all you want, but if I can live through the ex-wife from Jupiter, Mama Celeste, Dakota Fanning and Swiss Miss, I can handle this bullshit.
I'm just thinking of it as very Kennedy-esque.
You know who's loving life right now?
Ragone...

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow.. this is quite the buzz around my office.. looking at photos of all 3 of them, I'd say GCN is an improvement for her. It was her rehab hookup.. How often do you watch Dr. Phil/ Maury/ Tyra.. and the guests are "we met in rehab" rehab is for quitters anyway. I'm really surprised you wern't on this earlier.. with your finger on the pulse of the happenings at city hall.
T

Spots said...

On this earlier? Ouch, Todd. That's cold.
Maybe I WAS on it earlier, but had to compose myself and organize my feelings.
Actually, I have indeed heard that there's a ton of hooking up in rehab, but this bitch got on my boyfriend when she was still a crackhead...

sol said...

funny how ms. rippey tourk works for a radio program for "benefits magazine" - the same paper that ms. brittanie cheapginsqueezits does.

Anonymous said...

Im just playing.. it caught everyone off guard. Now a few hours of my day are wasted surfing the various blogs... I wouldn't be so crass as to post a link to another blog but this could be a big disaster for our man.. rumors of Sexual harrassment lawsuit (she WAS his employee when the alleged acts took place) .. pregnancy!?!
Wow. Is it confirmed she was a crackhead? shes so svelt im thinking that she likes to party with Tina. Of Course SF is no better city to be if your Alex and now seen as a cuckold husband.
T

Anonymous said...

I can't even get on to SF Gate its getting so many hits right now.

Spots said...

Wait. If the torrid affair was a year and a half ago, and apparently "short lived", how can she be knocked up?

I just want to go over to Gavin's pied-a-terre and comfort him...

Anonymous said...

allegedly.. the pregnancy.. 'went away'
thats the rumor i read on another blog... Although having a bastard crack baby is a badge of honor in some communities.

Man, when will politicians ever learn, its not the lies, its the cover-up?

I wanna see Spots go to fisticuffs with Miss D-list actress Stanford MBA.. see that one picture of her running on teh beach with those Jackie-O glasses ? blech...
T

Anonymous said...

As soon as I read about this in the Chron, I leapt to my computer for Beth Spotswood's thoughts. And you NEVER disappoint!

Sam said...

and what about THIS!

Anonymous said...

i totally had a rehab romance. emily, the one that got away.

-gray cloud

jerry said...

Regardless, he looked great at the press conference. How does he get away with it!?
Again, nothing this exciting happens in L.A. :-(

Anonymous said...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16929030/from/ET/

Gavin apologizes for fishing off the company dock...

T

Marge said...

Hmmm there is a striking similarity to KGN? Rebound...?

Anonymous said...

Spots, will you be interviewed somewhere about this? You really should be. I think we need a voice of reason such as yours.

Anonymous said...

excellent point Marge...
was this about the same time KGN was bragging about GCN's unit publicly ? When was their divorce final ? We really need the details on this and to get out the old calander.. Maybe Ruby heard that and just had to see for herself.
T

Spots said...

All Press inquiries can be directed to my representation, which is basically Zoe and me: "spotsblog at hotmail dot com"

But to answer your question, the only people interviewing me about this shit are the ladies in my office and my mom at lunch today...

jerry said...

lol Seriously. you should totally hold a press conference on behalf of his supporters. Something tells me you'd look fabulous on a podium facing a media frenzy.

Anonymous said...

Beth, I've been reading your mock-Gavin love letters. Obviously you don't REALLY like Gavin and enjoy making fun of something that is sad and hurtful to people you don't even know.
Shouldn't all of you rich, children of the aristocracy stick together?

Spots said...

We do!

And I love Gavin. Seriously. True love. Ask anyone...

Anonymous said...

Spots an aristocrat? Explain.

Vernetta said...

OMG Spots. I don't have time right now to read all the comments, but your luv is all over our news down here... Is that a good thing? Is he destine for ghetto ville while you and Rhonda move on up? They showed his "confession" and/or "apology" to his best friend. No running from the cameras now big guy... I'm just glad (and a bit surprised) he hasn't mentioned his other love (you) to drag down with :) Best

Alex Newkirk said...

Girlfriend, I feel you on this one. Like you, I also love Gavin, and like conjoined amoebas, whatever hurts The Gav, in turn hurts me.

So naturally, my cytoplasm is still smarting from the TourkGate scandal, but luckily I was able to power though and make a little love offering for Gav on altar of healing.

So, in case you didn't catch the subtext of my micro organism referencing, I have officially called dibs. Remember how I referred to you as "girlfriend"--masterfully appropriating urban slang to create the illusion that we're casually aquainted? Yeah. That's the last time that word will be used in any Gav-related context for you, "Spots." Sorry. I have an extra ticket to Legally Blonde: The Musical this Saturday night, and this time it won't be pawned off at the last minute to pay the balance on my Match.com account.

XO - Alex Newkirk

p.s. Otherwise, I heart your blog!

That Chick said...

Dear Spots,

I feel for you..seriously why couldn't he just come home in time to celebrate your birthday with you and all would be well...

Yet, I am so confused is Benefit magazine a real magazine or where Gavin is hiding all his "girl-friends" where Willie Brown would just place them in some City Hall office or Treasure Island? It is so confusing..who is the Mayor and What the heck is Jennifer doing now...oh I meant WHO is Jennifer doing now???
All in all my sincere best wishes that you are able to patch things up with Gavin (even knowing he forgot to send you flowers) or will you return to Steve Young's arms?

Ergie said...

Why did you choose Mama Celeste? I would expect something scientology related.