Friday, January 12, 2007

why is he in a crack alley...

Who knew Gavin was so fiery!
I'm all aflutter after watching THIS. (You can also watch it at the bottom of this post.) When asked about the recent choirboy melee, the highly annoying and unattractive Dan from Channel 7 choose to ask Gavin if he was a boozehound, as reported HERE.
First of all, nothin' wrong with a cocktail, Dan.
Second of all, Gav looses it and it is fucking HOT. He does this bizarre and kind of embarassing dramatic clap of the hands and all I could do was imagine him getting mad at me when we get in some fight about nothing in his pied-a-terre and he storms into another room, doing the grandiose handclap.
How do you know Gavin's mad?
He does this big seal clap.
SMACK!
I love it! Seriously. I can't tell you how much I love this. It's like this glorious insight into all of these Newsom emotions bubbling just under his perfect surface.
Clap!
It makes me want to provoke him further, knowing that something might trigger another exciting outburst, freeing Gavin from shoving his feelings further and further into the depths of his sultry-smelling soul.
Clap!
I can only hope to one day present him with Little Gavin's disappointing report card, prompting Big Gavin to extinguish his pipe, angrilly rise from his fireside armchair and storm out of our den with one dramatic CLAP!

7 comments:

honorary roomie said...

i love how he bizarrely and carefully situates himself perfectly before entering the car, as if he was wearing a mini-skirt or something. weird.

Spots said...

Zoe, I noticed that too! And when I read your comment, I realized that you are the only person in the world that truly understands everything. Not just everything about me, which you do. But everything.
We are truly and profoundly soulmates. Scary...

theo said...

Beth, we both know you have always loved The Clapper and The Superclapper---so it doesn't surprise me bit that the Mayorclapper has such an electrical effect on you.

Anonymous said...

I think his coat got stuck in the door. XO

Jackson said...

Genius!

I'm not in any position to criticize, but I do have a feeling that Gavin and I will have more than a few things in common when this all shakes out.

erik hogstrom said...

"Just know it's nothing personal when I walk on by you."
I am so totally appropriating that line for future use.

Anonymous said...

That is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. You are sublime.