Tuesday, December 05, 2006

everyone needs a cause...

I know you’re probably sitting at your desk right now asking yourself, “What can I do for Spots?”
Well folks, I’ve got the answer for you.
I’m sure you’re all aware of the appalling Nob Hill Gazette (An Attitude, Not an Address), a neighborhood paper for people that are rude to restaurant staff. Needless to say, I read it religiously and was delighted to discover the following announcement:

ATTENTION all single males and females!
If you’d like to be considered for inclusion in our Eligibles List for February, please send your name, phone number, address and a line or two about yourself to Marlowe Rafelle (Marlowe@nobhillgazette.com) by January 10th, 2007. Pictures will be returned if you include a stamped, self-addressed envelope.
If you’d like to recommend friends or relatives for inclusion, please feel free to do so with the same info.
Oh. My. God.
Um, hello? I HAVE to get on this list. I don’t care what I have to do, how much photo-shopping we need to employ or what lies we’ll need to invent. I want in, people. And I want it bad. I think it’s really cheeseball to nominate oneself, although I’m perfectly willing to do so. But come hell or high water, even if I have to track down every single crappy issue and hand-write my name and bio in, sketching my likeness in the margins, I’m making it on this bullshit list if it’s the last thing I do.
Commence e-mail campaigning…

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

They don't look like they hang out with the hobos in the ghetto, but I'm sure you'll fit right in...

greg Dewar said...

I could design a mail piece for your campaign. We could do a series of postcards highlighting your qualifications. And hit pieces on those nefarious nob hill single wannabes!

btob said...

a lootttta white people!!

Spots said...

Anon, I am a woman of the people! I bring street cred and a dented Honda Civic to Nob Hill!

Greg, get crackin!

Jason, maybe you never noticed in like, 10 years of friendship, but I am white. FYI...

honorary roomie said...

there are about 80 copies dumped in a pile on my front steps- is there an entry form? i'm going to rescue them right now! let the campaign begin!

Anonymous said...

I can dance a jig and wear a button advertising for you..If ya want...

callie
PS..

I can also do the *tootsie roll* it's a winner.