Good morning, voters. I received an e-mail from my father this morning instructing me to “do my duty” and vote. I was raised in a household where civic responsibility is of utmost importance. Not voting is punishable by will-removable. And I’ll be pissed it Alex gets everything. So I spent some time this morning trying to familiarize myself with the propositions and I’ve decided that instead of learning them inside and out, I’ll just vote by celebrity endorsement.
Clearly, we all have to vote Yes on Proposition 87. It’s like, the coolest proposition right now. Proposition 87 is like leggings and wedge heels and Frisson. To vote no on Proposition 87 would be like showing up at Bubba Gump’s in a fanny pack and Tevas. How embarrassing.
Also, who doesn’t love that little Michael J. Fox? No one, that’s who. Thus, we’ve all got to vote for stem cell research. And if you live in Connecticut, Ben Affleck wants you to vote for some congressional candidates who live in the middle of nowhere.
Uh, consider it done, Ben.
Sadly, the celebrities I care about have yet to offer their views on today’s ballot. So, I’ll leave you with Today’s Top 5: Celebrities Who Should Tell Us How To Vote:
5. Dog, the Bounty Hunter (I’m willing to bet he’s probably tough on crime.)
4. Luther Vandross (may he rest in peace.)
3. Brittany Spears (she rocks the red states, y’all.)
2. Tim Gunn (America’s gay.)
1. Oprah Winfrey (she decides everything anyway…)