Big props to New Chris for sending me a week old article I’d already read and tried to forget about. Those hotties, Matier and Ross decided to list the appalling credentials of Gavin’s soon to be ex-freakshow and I thought it only appropriate to see how I stacked up:
“Yes, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom is dating another actress -- but judging from her resume, this one really is a political scriptwriter's dream.” (Barf.)
“Not only does Jennifer Siebel -- who once dated America's most eligible bachelor, George Clooney -- bring some Hollywood luster, but she was born in San Francisco, has her MBA from Stanford and carries credentials as a conservation and Third World development activist.” (I hooked up with a bartender at The Redwood Room, was born in San Francisco, have a Bachelor’s in Fashion Design from a school no one’s heard of and carry credentials as a fag hag.)
“Why, she's even volunteered at a hospital in Quito, Ecuador.” (I was in charge of the talent show at fat camp.)
“And like the mayor, who played college baseball, she's got athletic ability -- she was a member of the U.S. Women's Junior National Soccer Team, a competitive horseback rider, basketball player and skier. And a dancer to boot.“ (In the 8th grade CYO boys vs. girls basketball game, the final score was 40 to 2. Yeah, those 2 points? Right here, baby. I’ve also survived the 2 hour trail ride at a New Mexico resort, typically ski for an hour then go to the Lodge Bar and can dance the pants off this bitch at Badlands.)
“She's also got some pedigree -- her dad is Ken Siebel, a onetime basketball pro who became an entrepreneur and investment manager, and mom is Judy Siebel, co-founder of the Bay Area Discovery Museum of Sausalito and a board member at various charities.” (Please. Dick and Joanne blow these posers out of the water.)
“As for Siebel's Hollywood talents? Well, her Web page shows she's mostly had bit TV and movie parts -- including roles in the short-lived "Presidio Med" and the Jack Nicholson-starring "Something's Gotta Give." (I’ve seen Muriel’s Wedding 342 times.)
“She's also 32, which -- much to the relief of the mayor's PR machine -- at least puts her in the same decade as the 39-year-old mayor.” (I’m a mere 28 years old, with 4 more child bearing years than grandma.)
“As for Brittanie Mountz, the mayor's erstwhile 20-year-old flame, she's apparently done a fast fade.” (Sadly, I kinda miss her…)
* Oh, and props to SFist for completely ripping me off. It's not like I've been doing this for years...
8 comments:
Oh my god, you've been doing fake Gavin itineraries for literally over a year! I just checked. That sucks! Hasn't SFist even linked to some of them???
Christ that IS terrible!
BOO
BOO
Boo
Fat Camp?!?!?!?!?!
Oh, sure. I guess technically it was a health spa, but we all found it very funny to call it fat camp, which is essentially what it was. It was in Vermont, there were lots of housewives there and I was like 16.
Seriously. I could start a whole other blog on this, the stories I could tell you.
However, when I found myself as the talent show MC, introducing 48 year old Doris from Indiana and her rendition of "Papa, Can You Hear Me" I knew I'd found my people. The only thing missing were the gays...
The SFist Philippines faux itinerary for Gavin was totally lame and unfunny. Could you please do one for us instead? Extra points for every word in Tagalog.
*laughs* to Doris and her rendition.
I used to frequent the fat camp growing up.See- in the hood it was the only place to go where we could sell Now and Laters candies ..But now I do it weekly at the Fat Girl Clinic-doctors..It's not camp anymore, and I sure as heck don't get to sell candy there.
callie
We all know who was first. Check out SF Fist now.
Yikes...
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