Zoe and I saw Jesus Camp a few weeks ago, and really only as an excuse to go shopping in the Fillmore. Notorious for it’s shitty parking, we drove down Fillmore Street and discovered the perfect space directly in front of the theater.
“Thank you, Jesus.”
Watching this movie, we were appropriately appalled. It’s basically the story of a Fundamental Evangelical children’s camp, where highly impressionable youth are made to dance around and cry and speak in tongues. Two of the kids in particular were featured and I wanted to jump through the movie screen and rescue them, teaching them the glory of gays and evolution and ethnic food.
And one of these boys aspired to preach himself, making the pilgrimage to Colorado Springs with his family in the hopes of meeting his idol, Rev. Ted Haggard, President of the National Association of Evangelicals. Rev. Ted is pretty much an oblivious asshole to this poor kid, asking him stupid, pointless questions and patting him on top of the head, before ignoring him. Zoe leaned over and whispered, “That’s the gayest man I’ve ever seen in my life.”
But wait, Zoe. He’s married with 5 kids and he preaches that homosexuality is the work of the devil. He couldn’t possibly be a big flaming, coke-whore queen who pays for gay, gay man-sex. Could he?