Recently, I’ve been waking up at 4am and can’t go back to sleep until 5 or so. So this morning, I figured, fuck it. I rolled out of bed, grabbed my iPod and went to GhettoGym. Truth be told, I romanticize wandering around the pre-dawn city. It’s kind of like being jet-lagged in a foreign country and wide awake, strolling the sidewalks. Interesting freakshows are out and about at 5am, especially on recycling day, and I was proud to be among them.
Gloriously, GhettoGym was both empty and BO-free. Rarities indeed.
I fired up that iPod and knew exactly what song to start with. I’m sure we’ve all seen the trailer for The Departed, featuring the fabulous Rolling Stones song, “Gimme Shelter.”
I cranked that shit up, upped my incline and (yeah, I’ll admit it) pretended I was an undercover cop training for my secret gig as a mole in the mafia.
I’d be a great undercover cop infiltrating the mob and let me tell you why. First of all, who’d ever believe I was a cop? Second, I have great respect for the mafia. I’m an expert of the films depicting their glamorous lifestyle, familiar with their hierarchy and codes of honor and I own a fur coat. Finally, I could totally be a mafia wife. I’m loud, I’m pushy, I cook, I know how to dispose of a body and I can ignore the occasional girl on the side…