Wednesday, October 11, 2006

i'm switching to fox news...

I don’t get my news from newspapers and radio. They’re dying mediums. And I don’t get my news from the television. There are always FAR better things on, like SVU. But every morning, I check in with SFgate and CNN, and every morning I run down the list of CNN’s twelve “Top Stories.”
This morning, I scanned those 12 top stories until I was forced to throw my cup of coffee at the computer. One headline proclaimed, “Men smarter, but just by 4 points, study finds.” And just two headlines away, the telling, “Men put off ER visits while game’s on, study says.”
I was so riled up about this bullshit, I didn't even notice "Women join military, risk lives, to get thinner."
Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
Um, what the fuck, CNN? First of all, I didn't realize you'd be pulling your topics from the reject cue cards from Regis and Kelly. Second of all, because this men are smarter crap has suddenly give me an irregular heartbeat, let me point out to your STUPID scientists that they might want to factor in...oh, I don't know...perhaps the fact that women have been treated like sub-humans since the beginning of civilization.
No one wants to hear my feminist rantings, so I'll just digress and hasten a guess that if men will suffer through a heartattack to see some touchdown and women will march off to Iraq to look cute, well perhaps we're all idiots...

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

you have a typo in the first sentence.

honorary roomie said...

um. i totally considered it. besides my deep love for my country, etc., bootcamp is hardcore. that's why they make gym classes called 'bootcamp'. and now, i'm appropriately embarrassed and can start my day.

Spots said...

Since when are YOU anonymous, B??? And where? The lack of "get"? Yeah, I fixed it.

And Zo, believe it or not, actually considered West Point. Now she just leads me on a "bootcamp" every Saturday, which resulted in me almost dying on the corner of Divis and Broadway 4 days ago...

Anonymous said...

Jeez Spots, don't you love it when people anonymously and publicly point out typos. Since you already have someone riding your ass about a typo I couldn't find at 8:26am, I'll anonymously and publicly point out that this post is hilarious.

KNun said...

I was cracking up when I read this this morning. I do the same thing every morning - scan the top stories on CNN.com.

Bonita said...

I was in a hurry! Had to go anonymous. To the other anonymous post, I wasn't trying to dis. My bad.