Friday, September 15, 2006

literally, in the dog house...

The world is full of injustice. And I tolerate it on a daily basis because I'm too lazy, self involved and stupid to do anything about it. But that stops today.
Why?
My hero and yours, Duane "Dog" Chapman has been arrested and thrown in jail by the US Marshals.
Wait a second, you're saying. Dog keeps the world safe.
Yes, he does. Like when he went to Mexico and with his son Leland and his blood brother Tim to catch a convicted millionaire rapist who'd skipped out on his bail. Apparently, the boys of Da Kine Bail Bonds, in their successful attempts to aprehend this douchebag, didn't go about it "legally" and Mexico is pissed.
Uh, since when do we care what Mexico thinks? Like suddenly, Mexico follows the letter of the law. Aren't people being raped, drugged, murdered and smuggled in Mexico every hot second of every smelly day? But all of a sudden, Dog catches a rapist and gets charged with "deprivation of freedom."
This is Mexico, folks. Mexico.
So, in response to this great travesty of justice, I'm going on the lam. I'm busting into the US Marshal Detention Center in Honolulu, which is where Dog sits this very minute preaching peace, love and pidgin to an array of ice heads and idiot guards, and busting Dog out.
Who's with me...

3 comments:

martini said...

I'm in!

sfmike said...

Thanks to your top secret background maneuverings, the Dog Is Free and out of jail.

Spots said...

You're welcome, America...