Wednesday, September 06, 2006

don't be so gullible, mcfly...

Did you see the video of the dad at his son’s football game, kicking the shit out of some 13 year old player who took a cheap shot at his kid? Because it’s awesome. I don’t know football from fencing, but apparently, the bully from the opposing team tackled the poor little (most likely abused and never good enough) son of big, mean, never went to college dad, who then lost it. Sears-siding went running onto the field, ignoring his son sprawled out in agony and going straight for the pre-pubescent bully, drop kicking him a la Bobby Boucher.
First of all, this happened in Stockton, so I don’t get why everyone’s so shocked. Doesn’t this happen in Stockton all the time? Isn’t this standard Stockton protocol for any minor offense, like cutting in line at Fresh Choice? Second of all, the dad’s name is Cory. Whose dad is named Cory? This is the kind of guy that shoved his classmates in lockers for having a backpack in a “queer” color and date-raped Freshman girls who were “asking for it” by wearing short skirts and giggling. Cory is basically Biff from Back to the Future.
Finally, um, where’s the wife? Oh wait. I know. She’s cowering on her floral couch in a shorts set, desperately scrubbing the kitchen that’s never quite clean enough and wringing her hands, pretending to read a Redbook until Cory comes home and finds something else unacceptable, punching in another wall or cracking open another six pack of shit beer and demanding she re-shine his trophies from 1983…

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i had a baby throw up on me in fresh choice circa 1992

Spots said...

Well, the Town Center Fresh Choice (may it rest in peace) can be a dicey place.
KG and I once chose to dine at the Colma Fresh Choice (circa 1997), where upon tapping a crumble of blue cheese off the scooper and onto my plate, I found myself berrated by a child molester in dirty sweatpants with band-aids all over his hands screaming that I couldn't do that because, "No one knows where your hands have been!!!!"
Um, I know where my hands have been and thankfully, they haven't been into the wood chopper that you obviously dispose of pre-teen boys in...