Thursday, August 17, 2006

you see this guy in bangkok, you think one thing...

I have so many things to discuss with you, I’ve got to break it up into several posts. Here’s today’s table of contents:

~Jon Benet
~The lady who got claustrophobic on an airplane
~Laura on ProRun

Let’s just get Jon Benet out of the way. First of all, now that Scott Peterson is officially old news and locked away reading his fan mail, God Bless America that another scandal and what’s sure to be a subsequent trial hits newsstands. The killer of Jon Benet has been captured molesting children in Thailand. A nation gasps.
The best thing about this, other than, you know, justice being served, is that this molester is quite possibly the creepiest person alive. I slept last night at my folks, and spent this morning glued to the television, watching that wiry little John Mark Karr in his khakis with his polo shirt buttoned all the way up and tucked anally into his belt. His eyes slowly switched from one corner to the other as he gave meek-voiced but eerily confident responses like, “I loved Jon Benet. It was an accident.” Oh, you mean the six year old you molested and murdered? Of course you did. This guy was so creepy, Alex got the chills, shaking the grossness off of him and then announcing, “You know who he looks like? Karl, the computer guy.”
Because CNN and local news insisted on occasionally covering other news stories, I made us switch channels to Fox News. One can always rely on Fox to beat a dead horse, particularly if there’s sex and murder involved. That’s when I saw the Boulder DA’s press conference, in which an array of people who worked on the case 10 years ago were paraded before us, accepting accolades for basically screwing this whole thing up. It was like the Oscars for small town bonehead law officials, patting themselves on the back for taking 10 years to find Kreepy Karr. We don’t care about this shit! We want to know how he did it, how’d you catch him, why’d it take so long, what’s his ex-wife say, what was he doing in Thailand, why is he so wonderfully creepy??? Come on people! OJ who?
I think Nancy Grace just exploded…

3 comments:

b.t.o.b. said...

How about that Dog is getting sued for busting the wrong guy?

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/08/17/BAG48KK42M1.DTL

Spots said...

Big Chris knows that guy! He called me at work to alert me to his Dog connection...

sfmike said...

I am feeling so End of Season One of "Veronica Mars" with the latest Jon Benet news. In other words, totally fulfilled. However, when I saw that the Dog had a local [scandalous] connection that was also hitting the international wires, I feared for your multitasking sanity.

Please help us through these tumultuous times, and I will pray for you.