Tuesday, August 01, 2006

is mel behind the wheel again...

Driving home from work yesterday, I found myself stopped at a red light directly in front of Gavin’s office, minding my own business and gazing at his windows.
All of a sudden, SLAM!
The car behind me crashed into Rhonda the Honda, sending everything thing in my car, including me, slamming forward and then flying into the backseat. The force of impact was so strong, my flip flip got trapped under the brake pedal. I had to cut it out. Literally.
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
A low-riding 70’s Cadillac rolled by me as I sat, shaking and stunned at the now green light.
“Damn! I saw that shit! I fucking saw that shit! You need to sue her ass!”
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
With my one bare foot, I emerged from my car and met the assailant at the site of impact. My car actually looked fine. That is to say, there was no damage that wasn’t there before. The driver, whose celebrity equivalent is best described as Bai Ling, was profusely apologetic. “Oh, I scared too! But my bumper rubber. Absorb impact. So everything okay!”
I was still shaking, slightly dazed and nervous stopping traffic directly in front of City Hall.
“Wait. What?”
“Rubber. See? Everything okay!” She slapped her bumper, which felt like a regular bumper to me. Still, there was nothing immediately wrong with me or my car. Why she has a rubber bumper is beyond me. I won’t state the obvious.
I returned to my car, composed myself and drove home, still unconvinced that no damage was done. This did not feel like a fender bender, folks. I’m amazed I didn’t lose any teeth.
An hour later, I’d forgotten all about it as I sat having a glass of wine and watching Golden Girls with Mikey. Letting out a chuckle, I threw my head back.
CRACK.
I am now sitting at my desk, my right ear stuck to my shoulder, my back crooked and my heart broken that Gavin didn’t witness the entire collision and come running down the front steps of City Hall to my rescue…

7 comments:

Vernetta said...

That sucks... Hope you'll be OK.

Towski said...

always always always always always trade insurance info. Rubber bumper or not.

Hope you're ok, spots!!!

Spots said...

I've already received a lecture from my father, the ambulance chaser, thank you very much. And I'm fine, except for the excruciating pain I'm in...

Anonymous said...

Miss Spotswood is perfectly fine. You'd think she was Ferris Bueller from the public outpouring of concern. I just saw her 30 minutes ago. She's in heels and pearls and I brought her really good Chardonnay.

Really! How she exaggerates! Excruciating pain translates to minor discomfort of the neck and anger at minorities. Oh, Bethy.

sfmike said...

Gavin was in Long Beach hobnobbing with Poodle Blair and Scary Schwarzenegger. Otherwise, I am sure he would have been running down those City Hall steps in no time.

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