Everyone gets a blog on their birthday. Michael Drew is no exception. But I realized I don’t really have a wacky story about Mikey I haven’t already told you. So I’ll tell you my Top 5 Favorite Things I’ve Discovered About My Living Companion:
5. If Mikey is drinking a hot drink, ie; coffee, he will first warm his mug with hot water, wait until the mug feels hot enough to receive his precious coffee and then dump the hot water, rapidly filling the now warm mug with coffee. Also, he keeps beer mugs frosty in the freezer at all times, which he never uses. So basically, Mike insists on the temperature of his cup pre-matching the temperature of his beverage. Curious and Wonderful.
4. Mikey relates any occurrence, situation or circumstance to an episode of Seinfeld. Literally, everything. Anything that will ever happen to you when you’re with Michael was already on an episode of Seinfeld. And was better.
3. Some people like to dance. And some people love to dance. Michael LOVES to dance. Like, really loves to dance. You know that scene in Billy Elliot, where little blue collar, ballet dancer Billy is asked what it feels like when he dances and he responds, “Don't know. Sorta feels good. Sorta stiff and that, but once I get going... then I like, forget everything. And... sorta disappear. Sorta disappear. Like I feel a change in me whole body. And I've got this fire in my body. I'm just there. Flyin' like a bird. Like electricity. Yeah, like electricity.”
That’s pretty much what happens which Mikey dances.
2. There is only one woman in Mikey’s life. And that woman is Pheobe. I have never seen a straight man so in love with his cat. He talks to her, he snuggles with her, he twirls her on the hardwood floor. For hours. Every day. They are in love with each other and I pity the fool that leaves the door open and lets Pheobe out, because if Pheobe gets hit by a car or gets cat-raped or something, Michael will never be the same.
1. Mikey will attend any event I drag him to, and look pretty and be charming and put up with anyone. You can call Michael 5 minutes before a party starts and get him to bring ice. You can subject him to dozens of gays groping him and he laughs it off. You can get obnoxiously, horribly wasted, stumble in the street and Mikey will pick you up. As I said to Laura the other day, Mikey is a magical angel from heaven, floating around in business suits bringing sunshine and happiness wherever he goes…