Thursday, July 27, 2006

hold on. i'll have to check my tk...

Sharpee came out with all these fabulous new colors. This delights me, as I love Sharpees. Actually, I love most office supplies, and as I was selecting my new Sharpees this morning, I recalled the familiar twinge of glee I experienced buying grammar school supplies every September. Not only did I get free range of the Longs Drug Store school supply aisle, I was faced with the daunting and highly important task of selecting my Trapper Keeper.
I wore a plaid uniform from Kindergarten through 8th grade, thus the only means of expressing one’s personal style was done via free dress days, key-chains attached to backpacks, footwear and the image upon your Trapper Keeper.
Early on, girls lean towards the gender appropriate puppies, kittens and fields of flowers. Puppies and kittens were always coming out of baskets and had that White Diamonds haze over everything. Guys always had some sports or skateboarding related Trapper Keeper, or if you were really nerdy, some kind of outer space goings on. TV or movie related Trapper Keeper’s were also acceptable, provided they were the right TV shows and movies. For example, I recall falling madly in 4th grade love with Max and his A-Team Trapper Keeper.
Fancying myself a trendsetter and having a reputation to maintain, in 6th grade I selected an early 90’s hippie revival Lisa Frank binder, depicting brightly colored rainbows and peace signs, and emblazed with the hippy-fonted slogan, “Make Love Not War.”
Worse, feeling the need to push the 6th grade envelope at St. Patrick’s, I printed out a rustic homemade computer sign bearing the same words. To look at it looked like you were seeing something printed on the first home printer ever invented. It even had those perforated strips with holes in them along the edges, like they were printed on lie detector paper. Anyway, the day before my birthday party, to which all 28 6th graders were invited, I displayed my computer printout.
Directly above my bed.
You’d think I was running a whorehouse from a 13 year old’s room, based on the response from the classmates. The combination of my fake hippy Trapper Keeper and my homemade computer sign was too much.
“Oh my god, Beth makes love. Ewwww. Why don’t you go make love with your lover.”
I was an outcast at my own party, and I couldn’t wait to get those brats out of my room so I could take down that stupid printout and toss that cursed Trapper Keeper.
Needless to say, I arrived at school the following Monday with a goddamn puppy peeking out of a goddamn basket…


amy said...

This is a really well written post, Bethy! Nice job. I had the unicorn on the computer lines through space one. Oh, Tapper Keeper. I should ditch my briefcase and bring Trapper Keepers into meetings.

sfmike said...

Thank you for a new addition to my useless but fabulous info file in my brain, the Trapper Keeper. And "Ewwww. Why don’t you go make love with your lover?” is a helpful phrase for all kinds of awkward situations.

Spots said...

Thanks Amy. I know exactly which Trapper Keeper you're talking about. As Big Chris would say, "Old school. I like it."

And Mike, I never thought of it that way. How helpful, as it's so often I find myself in awkward situations.

honorary roomie said...

this post is amazing because:
1) i was just in target yesterday talking about how much i wished i needed to buy school supplies.
2)i shunned the trapper keeper in favor of the peach/lavender/mint sensation that was the "super shades" collection.
3)i, too, festooned my 7th grade binder with hippie peace slogans- although not so cool as to be made by computer- i remember coloring a "scud vs. patriot" picture with a yellow-marker lightning bolt between the two... original gulf war style.