Wednesday, July 12, 2006

check out the name on his desk...

Normally, I don’t drop the ball on Gavin related news, or perhaps I just don’t care because my love is unconditional, but I just found out that Gavin C. Newsom is dyslexic. Oh my god. It explains so much. And I know what you’re all asking yourselves: What does this mean for Spots?
Uh, it means everything. First of all, if he mixes things up, maybe he’ll mix up fat and thin, obnoxious and charming, hung-over and radiant. It could be like bizarro world all the time. Also, no wonder he’d been dating those boneheads. They must seem like rocket scientists to him, making me, comparatively, Stephen Hawking or similar. My god, I’m like a tower of intellect because I know that whole ‘i before e’ rule.
Finally, anyone sane fears the perfect and I’m thrilled to know that little Gavy struggled his way through prep school and was most likely openly mocked by his shithead little classmates who are currently committing tax fraud or cheating on their trophy wives. Beating the odds, my boyfriend struggled against his secret disability and triumphed, not only becoming head honcho of our fair city, but a well-dressed god with a learning disability which, if given the chance, I can easily manipulate and abuse…

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

he looks like a certain chris in that picture

Spots said...

Why? Because he's over-styled, pompous, and secretly nervous while pontificating to a distracted audience?
Eh. Kinda...

Elliot said...

Gold.
Pure.

Anonymous said...

the immigrant bus driver thought i was 'de mayor'...it's not that far of a stretch. look at the kid next to gavin on the left side of the picture...he looks none too pleased that he has to sit next to this creepy old guy rather than 'heidi'

Spots said...

Yeah, I thought that kid looks way more like you than Gavin does. Maybe it's the weird hair or antsy pencil twirling...

kt said...

Please tell me we're not talking about that douchebag, gray cloud. Because he looks Gareth from the British version of The Office, not you're fucking hot boyfriend. One suit does not a god make. Who on earth would say such a stupid thing?

Anonymous said...

hey kt...i think i look more like beaker from the muppets than gareth from the office...and you're right, wearing a suit doesn't make me a god...everything else about me does.

gray cloud

p.s. hey you guys i'm doing a crossword. can anyone help me out with, "four letter word for vagina"

Anonymous said...

Well, 'chris' has 5 letters, so I'm stumped.

Anonymous said...

oooooo burn....try 28 down..."five letter word for deity"

Anonymous said...

'spots'

Anonymous said...

haha touche...alright i'm going out at 10pm tonight so i'm gonna start getting ready. Next Blog Please!

kt said...

Gray Cloud hates everyone, including our beloved Spots. Which is why he gets ready to sit at a bar alone 7 hours in advance.

Anonymous said...

beep beep beep...who said i hated spots? hey beth! get your minions in line...your brainwashed followers are getting their info wrong.

Anonymous said...

yikes, what did i start here??? he has the suit and the overly gelled (sp?) hair. i saw a resemblance, im just saying is all.

Anonymous said...

don't forget the ego ;)

Sunset Boy said...

The dyslexia explains it all!! Everyone has been writing to Gavin telling him he should be with SPOTS, but he misread it as STOPS!, and thought it was a warning that he should back off and didn't have a chance with you! Now it makes sense!
BEN

berkeleyist/lo said...

the only chris this looks like is new chris. cute, smart, sober.

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