Thursday, May 11, 2006

but how do you say harold's last name...

Whenever I housesit at Judy’s, especially when it’s nice out, I have no choice but to enjoy cocktails on the deck and pretend I’m in a movie. As I’m sure you know, last night was the Top Chef Reunion Special, and with much excitement, I invited my fellow Top Cheffers over for dinner.
Big Chris, an Anti-Top Cheffer, also appeared, complained that I grilled steak and not chicken, tucked a napkin into his collar, made fun of my huge head and called me “woman.” I often say that I’ve always wanted to be a mafia wife. In fact, Ciccarone does a hilarious impression of my intended instructing me into our tract house in Jersey. But I think I can bypass a lifetime in La Cosa Nostra, because I have Big Chris. He’ll beat up anyone I want, he spills spaghetti sauce on himself and he drives a mid-size family sedan. The only downside?
I just don’t think I’ll ever get my fur…

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is that the view at Judy's, where you housesit ALL THE TIME???
Oh my god. That is incredible. How do I get an invite?

Spots said...

Yes. That's Judy's. I keep telling her that we need to rent the place out for movies.
And I don't invite anonymous people over for dinner. Duh. Also, the original rules of last night's party was an profound love of Top Chef. A true Top Cheffer would be able to answer the following three questions:
1. What is Bryan's favorite word?
2. Who's the most annoying person on the show?
3. Who makes the best food?

Bonita said...

I believe Brian spells his name with an "i". Just sayin'

Spots said...

He does? I just assumed someone "like him" would spell it with the annoying y. You and MOI with the "just sayin'..."

big chris said...

hey woman,
just read the blurb and it sounds like I'm some un-grateful shit. I thought dinner was fantastic. basically I'll eat anything and I didn't complain we weren't eating chicken, I just asked if you were making chicken and you reacted by throwing lettuce at me.
( the same lettuce was then used in last evening's salad )
also stop making fun of the camry it is a reliable automobile and I don't see what the problem with
the bib is. the top chef reunion was ass, I was promised a fist fight and the only highlight was the overrated orange looking girl calling the gay dude with the spiky hair a " loser and a douchebag.."
smell ya later,
chris cullen
ps. Barry Bonds called. He wants his hat back.

Spots said...

Relax. You know I love you. Because you love my cooking, which is basically the highest praise you're willing to give a female that doesn't refer to breast size.

PS: a 12 year old boy called. He wants his outfit back...

spotsfan said...

1. succulent
2. Billy Joel's wife
3. Harold

Now can I come over?

honorary roomie said...

katie joel proves my theory that beautiful people never have to develop a personality. (and therefore should never, ever host a show. if she managed to say a single sentence without sounding like a robot, i would die of shock. i hope someone got fired over that casting. not that i've given a great deal of thought to it...)

Spots said...

"Bethy: I think you need a better picture of yourself for your blog. This one doesn't do you justice. Love, Daddy"
-via e-mail

everyone's a fucking critic.
um, hey pal. who's genes are we working with here?

that's what i thought...

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