Monday, April 24, 2006

a toe, maybe, but i need my fingers...

I had a friend in college whom I always regarded as a fabulous badass. Amy made her own bizarre clothes, Amy reupholstered the inside of her car with vintage maps and Amy didn’t take any shit. She and I became friends when we had a nighttime painting class together, and I’d drive her home occasionally. She’d invite me to come in to the huge communal house she shared with weirdo artists and hang out, where we’d watch Montel and drink wine coolers.
Amy said she knew we were kindred spirits when one day, she produced an imaginary microphone and began to interview me. I didn’t bat a lash and dove right in. Apparently, this was not the reaction Amy was used to getting. And thus, we were inseparable.
One day, I picked her up from her job at Starbucks and we sipped on our gratis Frappuchinos while driving around Philadelphia.
“I don’t want to die with all of my fingers.”
I slammed on the brakes. “What?”
“I feel like I won’t have really lived unless I’ve, you know, lost a digit.”
“I don’t care. Freak accident, lover’s quarrel, something unexpected.”
“Well, that’s really weird, Amy.”
“You don’t have anything you HAVE to do before you die?”
She had me. Amy was older, wiser and cooler. She had a list of things she wanted to do before dying, as if sudden demise was around any corner. For a little while, Amy was my hero.
So, although I haven’t talked to her in ages, have no idea where she is, or even searched for her on MySpace, this one’s going out to Amy Jo Kreis:

Top 5 Things I HAVE to do before I die:

5. Be invited onstage to perform with a rock or pop legend.
4. Win a major award at a televised event.
3. Sleep with a C-list or higher celebrity.
2. Solve a murder.
1. Throw an expensive drink in a deserving face, calmly grab my fabulous coat and storm out to the spontaneous applause of those around me…


Towski said...

If Amy is as you advertise, I feel reasonably comfortable she does NOT have a myspace page.

amy lost then found said...

Damn it! I still do have all my fingers. And my life could almost be half way over.
Its apparent now that I should take up knife throwing... or sword fighting without the metal gloves.
I love you, Beth.

charmschool said...

Yep, sounds like the Amy I'm looking for...

Amy, if you see this: I WANT OUR PROM PHOTOS! Hahaha Just sold my green velvet Docs on ebay last week, thus you have been at the forefront of my mind. Would love to be back in touch.

Beth, in case this doesn't make its way to Amy, would you be so kind as to hook me up with her email address? Amy and I are friends from high school and lost touch along the way...

Kathleen (aka Kathy)