This is a highly paranoid blog post. Forgive me. But is no one else completely freaked out that a maniacal killer is loose on the street of San Francisco? 2 friends in their 20’s went missing exactly a week ago. One body was found on Saturday with like, a billion stab wounds and a serious beat down. Needless to say, things weren’t looking so hot for that missing friend. Yesterday, KG and Shawn found themselves stuck in traffic in Golden Gate Park.
“I bet it’s a body.” Said Shawn.
“Nah.” Replied Kat. “It’s traffic.”
Guess who was right? Um, hello? A body in Golden Gate Park? I find this highly distressing. So I went to the San Francisco Police Department’s website, where I found this. You can actually enter your address, provided you live in the city, and search crimes that have occurred in the last 90 days in your neighborhood. Within a mile of my house, 188 cars were stolen, 127 people were robbed, 6 people were raped and someone was murdered. In a sad twist, I’m pleasantly surprised. I expected that shit to be much worse. My neighborhood’s really classing up. But you can be sure as Sunshine I’m staying the hell away from Golden Gate Park…