Wednesday, March 15, 2006

get your hand off my shoulder, tard...

You know I’m in trouble when the “President” and I cry at the same heart-warming story. Everyone except my roommate has seen J-Mac shoot 20 points in the season closer of Rochester, New York’s Greece Athena High School basketball game, right?
Well, just for Mikey, here’s the scoop from your favorite high sports reporter. Jason “J-Mac” McElwain, a 16 year old autistic kid who’d spent 3 seasons as his team’s manager, warming the bench and refilling water bottles, was put in for the last 4 minutes of the last game of the season. The crowd apparently anticipated this thoughtful gesture, suddenly producing photo-masks of his face and cheering him on, half expecting him to aim for the wrong basket or forget to dribble. Turns out, the whole time they’d been patting sweet, slow Jason on the top of the head as he collected the balls after practice, they neglected to notice J-Mac can fucking shoot.
The kid hit six 3-pointers in 3 minutes, people.
You’ve got to watch ESPN’s version of this video, because there’s no way you CAN’T cry.
J-Mac’s apparently fielding 37 movie offers, although if you ask me, Radio pretty much covers the jist.
Anyway, I was watching Good Morning America today and threw coffee at the television watching our commander and chief making J-Mac look like a rocket scientist. There’s no way I can respect a president that exploits a 16 year old autistic kid for a photo-shoot during war-time. Or one that giggles…

11 comments:

Nihilistic said...

Among many reasons not to respect the nimrod...

ignorant roomie said...

yeah, but would an un-retard get the same recognition if he played on a retarded team? i don't think so.

Spots said...

My best friend, Zoe, ladies and gentleman. Don't mind her sticky shoes. They're just melting as the fires of hell nip at her right-wing extremist feet...

honorary roomie said...

ooh no, not me- yes, i can usually get credit for my somewhat less than, uh- tolerant views, but alas, not this time... you know i love the tards.

berkeleyist said...

That ESPN clip had me crying at my desk. I sent it to Leslie and drunken coworker and they were both crying too. I love that kid.

Anonymous said...

OK, now I'm crying too. However, shouldn't we be giving the coach some grief. If he'd played J-Mac on first string, think what his team could have done. XOMOM

Sunset Boy said...

Man, that kid is a ballhog!
BEN
(seriously, i teared up but didnt cry. great story, love that kid)

sfmike said...

This almost makes up for your Tucker Carlson fixation.

With love.

Towski said...

There’s no way I can respect a 16 year old autistic kid that exploits a president for a photo-shoot during war-time.

Bjorn Borg said...

Kids seems fine to me...

...I mean come on. I'm no neurologist, but autism is a mental condition, not a physical condition. I see no reason why he couldn't play basketball normally. What's inexcusable is taking 13 shots in less than 4 minutes...

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