New Year’s Resolution Number 287: Have tiny last minute dinner party that turns into white trash karaoke extravaganza. Check!
One of my many resolutions has been to have people over for dinner more often. What’s the point of my fabulous little dining room if it’s only purpose is to display my rotating collection of handbags? So, I scrambled yesterday and talked Berkeleyist, Big Chris and Alex into coming over for dinner. I made my two specialties: crostini with magical cream cheese and “Beth’s salad” which I’ve ripped off from several restaurants but am claiming ownership of. Berk brought wine, Chris brought Tecate and Alex brought Judy’s famous Carmelita’s, all blending beautifully with Zoe’s Low Calorie Wheat Crust Carmelized Onion Pizzas. It took an hour to throw together, cost less than a dinner out and was significantly more fun.
After Chris left to go find cheap tranny hookers or similar, we embarked on a field trip to collect Andy. Zoe and I live in the Mission and Andy lives essentially in the Haight, but to listen to Berk you’d think we were driving to Oregon. “Oh my god, this is so far away. Are we there yet? This is such an adventure!”
“Laura, you came from Berkeley. That’s like, another country.”
Leave it to Andy to pile in the car with a video camera and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. “Oh, hi everybody. Let’s make some movies and shit.”
We returned home to snack on dessert and coffee while Andy taped my video will and testament and helped me select my pallbearers, deeming all of the Chris‘ too emotionally attached to maintain composure during my funeral. Then, I suddenly remembered a discovery Zoe and I had made a few days ago: Comcast Karaoke! Comcast on Demand, it turns out, has fabulously cheesy karaoke FOR FREE!
As Andy and I sang “Wind Beneath My Wings” to each other, I thought to myself, “This is fabulous. This is exactly what I want to do on a Friday night. This could not get any better.”
I was wrong. It got better.
You have not lived until you have seen Zoe Nicole and Andy Jay belting “Proud to be an American”; incorporating on one side, intense, elitist, right wing ownership of patriotism and on the other, Mid-Western, white-trash, blind faith in this great country. I still ache from laughter, their performance was that spectacular. Sometime during Zoe and my rendition of a lesser Nickelback song, New Chris arrived and proceeded to alternate between Kelly Clarkson and gangsta rap.
It was a glorious evening and one I hope to repeat monthly. If you’d like to get on the exclusive guest list, please submit a written request and preferred set list for your forced karaoke participation…
* Berkeleyist’s account of last night is far more charming. You can read it here.