Tuesday, January 10, 2006

i have to get one of those shirts...

Oh my god. I just realized that ANYONE can request an interview with Gavin. Obviously, a request in no way guarantees said interview, but once Gavin’s staff hears my brilliantly prepared questions and reviews my informative blog, there’s no way they can deny me.
Seriously. I’m actually considering this.
The dilemma I’m facing is how to present myself as a legitimate writer as opposed to an unknown, obsessed, boozy celebrity whore who occasionally lacks grace and tact. Also, I imagine they’d want to know what I’d ask. Here are my prepared questions:


1. So, you read my blog, right?
2. Please list 10 things you hate about Kimberly.
3. What is San Francisco doing to celebrate my birthday?
4. How do you emotionally handle the undeniable chemistry between us?
5. What is your cell phone number?
6. Can I smell your clothes?
7. Now that we all agree on the Marina sucking, where do you hang?
8. Settle an argument. Gel or mousse?
9. Can I get a look at your stock portfolio?
10. Will you marry me?


I feel that about wraps up everything my readers and I would like to know. If you have any additional questions you’d like me to ask, please don’t hesitate to contact me, and I’ll include your querries in my pending interview…

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is pretty much the greatest thing I have ever read in my life...

roomie said...

i smell the first restraining order of '06...

Jackson said...

The cell number is already all over the internet. Though I got harassed by the non-existent "San Francisco Secret Service" after calling it.

Spots said...

You don't think he's, uh, changed it since then?
Perhaps, I'll amend the question to "Why the hell did you give that skank your number?"

Marge said...

One last question to add to your list: What's your shoe size?

Spots said...

Margot Lee, mother of Miles!

Jesus Christ, Marge. I love that you read, though. K's in India for the next 2 weeks. Bring Milo over for lunch...

Molly B said...

Beth,
those are some darn good questions! You should be working for CNN. I know your buddy Anderson Cooper would think so as well!

Spots said...

I love having friends at major cable news outlets. Molly, you've just given me yet another genius idea. CNN should hire me to interview celebrities! I know you've got Suspenders McHunchback chatting up Suzanne Sommers or similar, but provided you wouldn't make me share an office with that queen Cooper, I promise to maintain professionalism and not steal highlighters. Pitch it to Ted...

Anonymous said...

Why are you so in love with Gavin Newsom? I can't figure it out.

Spots said...

Are you kidding me? He's fucking adorable!

First of all, look at him. Just look at him. Mother of God, he's breathtaking.
Secondly, he loves the gays. Finally, he's funny.
Everytime I hear him on the radio, I get so worked up that I have to pull over because I become unsafe on the road.

Marge is currently trying to explain this to her husband, who, like you, is blind to this perfection. But seriously. I mean it. I can't be any clearer.

I love him.

Some Random Girl said...

He is pretty darn cute....

Anonymous said...

He looks like every used car salesman on a Ford lot.