Friday, December 09, 2005

lighten up...


God, I hate Anderson Cooper. I can’t explain it, but he’s just so goddamn over the top. If I see him in one more giant, fur trimmed parka, I’m going to beat his ass for stealing my look. First of all, his mother is Gloria Vanderbilt, who was clearly destined to have a pompous, gay, gay son that she’d strong arm her friends into hiring. But shouldn’t he be a Broadway choreographer or gallery owner or something. I mean, he’s an anchor on CNN AND the host of The Mole? That’s like writing for The New Yorker but moonlighting as the advice columnist for Miss Cosmo. Anderson Cooper is such a label-whoring queen that he’s heading today’s Top 5:

Top 5 People Who Take Themselves Far Too Seriously:

5. Tim Robbins
4. Gwyneth Paltrow
3. Tom Cruise
2. Matt Gonzalez
1. Anderson Cooper

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice. Nice. I totally agree. but here's mine:
5. Oprah Winfrey
4. Any Greek shipping heir
3. Denzel Washington
2. Rosie O'Donnell
1. Victoria Gotti

Spots said...

Oh, shit. No, no, no. I forgot the most perfect one of all:

JONATHAN ANTIN

The name of his shampoo line is actually "Jonathan Product."

God, I love him. I love him so much I can barely breathe...

Dancing Queen said...

Good call on Fishticks Paltrow!

Dancing Queen said...

"Fishsticks" that is...

big chris said...

anderson cooper is such a douche-bag. you read a teleprompter
buddy. I also think oprah is completely out of her fucking mind.

here's my list in no particular order:

5. yoko ono
4. barbara streisand
3. pat robertson ( certifiably insane )
2. celine dion
1. sean penn ( leave that shit up to bono )

* gwyneth is becoming the yoko ono of our generation. if she breaks
up coldplay there will be hell to pay...

the secretary said...

5. Posh Spice
4. Chris Daly
3. Tyra Banks
2. Madonna
1. Camille Paglia

Do not mess with Oprah!

Dancing Queen said...

My list:

5.Gwyneth Paltrow
4.Tom Cruise
3.Oprah
2.Mel Gibson
1.Sean Penn!!!

Oprah itches my butt (except when she has great guests and gives away lots of free stuff).

roomie said...

for what it's worth...
5. stephen soderberg
4. j. lo.
3. bill o'reilly
2. russell crowe
1. dr. phil

the secretary said...

...or Dr. Phil! Otherwise, Zoe, I completely agee with your list. Bill and J Lo were in the first draft of mine, but were ultimately replaced by Camille and Posh.

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed a lot! »