There a thousands of fabulous events happening all the time that I’d gladly give my first born to attend, but yesterday, I missed the shindig of a lifetime and I’ve got to say, if I could go back in time and attend any party is the history of parties, this one’s high on the list: The Wedding of Elton John and David Furnish.
Ugh, how fucking fabulous is that! The only downside is that my nemesis, Elizabeth Hurley was there and she probably complained about the flowers and the food and the fat people the entire time. I really don’t understand what her problem is, but I can say with utmost confidence, Elton would know to put us at different tables because after a couple of mojitos, she’d start calling me a big, loud, tacky American and I’d start calling her the answer to Divine Brown’s prayers.
Elton and I, on the other hand, would be fast friends. And not just because he’s a huge, over the top, emotional-wreck, flaming gay. I’ve always felt a kinship with Ms. John, ever since we were little girls. And for the rest of my life, I will lament the fact I was not a bridesmaid on the happiest day of his life.
Top 5 Parties I Wish I Attended:
5. Any Post-Oscar Vanity Fair Party, preferably 1998’s soiree with winners Ben and Matt
4. Anything involving The Rat Pack, The Sands Hotel, Don Rickels and me in vintage Dior
3. Hef’s Midsummer Night’s Dream Party at the Playboy Mansion
2. The Fabulously Homo Wedding of Elton John and David Furnish
1. Gavin’s Super Secret Divorce Soiree I’m sure he had