Talan and Kimbitchly have called off their engagement.
Hold on. I need to pick my jaw up off the floor. I’m so shocked, I can barely believe I CALLED IT 2 WEEKS AGO.
Far more upsetting to my universe is the split of Nick and Jessica. I hate to admit it, but I kinda liked them.
Okay. Only him.
As I stood in line at Safeway (unwittingly overdrawing my account) I stared at their faces splashed across magazine covers and wondered if it was all worth it. I mean, they both possessed dwindling careers until MTV came along and offered them the devil’s contract. Would you agree to let cameras into your home so that your foibles could be edited into entertainment for bored Americans provided that it made you an appallingly huge star yet ruined your relationship with the one person that was able to tolerate your stupidity?