Wednesday, October 05, 2005

here comes trouble...

In a disturbing and quite frankly, unexpected new twist, TomKat is with child. (For those with lives, that’d be Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.) I don’t know what’s more upsetting: The fact that Tom Cruise has purportedly had sex with a woman or the implication that Nicole Kidman is barren.
Any way you cut it, I think it’s safe to say this shall be one fucked up looker, denied all necessary psychiatric care and raised in an uncertain environment led by a closeted, fanatical, bi-polar patriarch.
And now, we all wait with baited breath for warm remarks from dear friends of the couple, including Oprah Winfrey, Dakota Fanning and James Van Der Beek…

2 comments:

the secretary said...

"or the implication that Nicole Kidman is barren."

OMG, I had this exact same thought. My personal Tom and Nicole break up theory was based on Tom being sterile. I mean, they are the two most attractive people on earth and they ADOPTED two kids? Then, they break up and Nicole has a miscarriage two weeks later? I always thought she was impregnated by Russell Crowe and tried to pass the baby off as Tom's. Since he is sterile, he immediately dumped her. Now, he has somehow impregnated Katie Holmes? Why did he dump Nicole? Is he really straight? Did he really fall for that homewrecker Penelope Cruz? So many questions, how can I be expected to work?

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed a lot! »